Second Chances: A vampire Academy story
by steffy2106
Summary: A.U. 2 months after Blood Promise. Loosely based on the movie the ‘Butterfly Effect’ Rose get the chance to go back in time, to alter her decisions. Will these changes ameliorate the present or make it worse? Better summary inside. D
1. Chapter 1

**A.N:** Hey Guys!!

Here a little story I decided to post while working on my _Spirit bound _story =D

This story set 2 months after blood promise so only a couple of weeks before graduation.

It will be different from all the stories I wrote before. It will be like a series of one-shot. A series of "What if", what could have been the results if Rose would have made different decisions?

If you guys think of a "what if" you would like to read about don't hesitate to mention it in your review or in a PM and if it's pretty original ( and not planned already) I'll do it ( and dedicate it to you =D)

**Well I hope you'll enjoy ( don't forget I don't have a beta so don't be too harsh)**

_**Don't forget to review. **_

Steffy.

**Prologue: **

I took another sip of vodka walking on the dangerously slim edge of the roof top of the Moroi dorm. I was there because it was the highest building in the whole school, 6 floors.

I looked down to the rear end. The back yard had a very big terrace made of stones.

_Head first Rose…when they'll discover your body it will be too late for anyone to save you_. I thought as quiet tears started to fall down my cheeks, it was night in the our world and I managed to sweet talk Xander Badica into giving me the booze.

_They'll be better off without me_. I thought looking down again.

"I highly doubt that" said a woman voice from behind me.

I swirled around so fast that I lost my balance, but the woman caught me before I could fall over the edge, and she brought me back to safety in the middle of the roof top.

I looked at her and I was sure I never met her before. She was pretty young, mid to late twenties. She had, shoulder long, light brown hair with some blond highlights. She was about 5'3, a bit plump but it was nice on her. She had hazel eyes, streaked with gold and I was sure she was neither Dhampir nor Moroi…probably not even human. She was dressed with a pair of black jeans and red sweater but what stroke me was that she was barefoot of this roof top full of gravel and it didn't seem to bother her a bit.

"I…Who are you?" I asked her.

"My name is Agate." She said with such a warm smile that it actually make me feel slightly better but I was still drowning…drowning in an ocean of pain and despair and I just gave up the will to fight to keep my head out of the dark water. What was the point anyways?

"Why…What are you doing here?" I asked looking around. I was sure I locked the door to the roof. I looked to the direction of the door and I could see that the huge padlock was still on it.

"I'm here for you Rose." She said calmly.

"How do you know who I am?" I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "What are you?"

She laughed and it was the nicest, warmer laugh I had ever heard. "Do you really want to know?"

I nodded.

"I was sent here to help you Rose and I made it just in time." She said looking from me to the bottle to the roof edge. But there was no judgment in her eyes just a profound sadness.

"I was not going--" I stopped taking a deep breath. I could see in her eyes that she knew everything already. She knew why I was on that roof and she answered to my unspoken thoughts before. There were no point to lie.

"True there is no point."

"Could you not do that?!" I snapped. "I'd like to keep my thoughts to myself."

"I'm sorry." She said and I could hear the utter sincerity in her voice. "I've been sent to you I'm…" she thought for a couple of seconds. "A sort of guide."

"And let me guess you're here to tell me that life is worth living, that when you're young everything feel like the end of the world but that it's not true." I snorted "and that if I keep trying, just a bit harder everything will be fine."

"No" she said simply.

"No?"

She shook her head. "How could I say that?" He asked rhetorically. "I've been watching you for a while, well, a very long time actually and you've been through so many tragedies, so much heart aches for a young soul." She reached to touch me but I guessed that the look on my face made her rethink it as she let her hand fall back to her side. "I just want to understand why you think that taking yourself off can make things better? What made you reach that point of no return."

"But don't you see it?! If you really have been watching me for so long. It's all my fault!!"

"What is?" She asked apparently confused.

"Dimitri is wandering the world as a Strigoi, I tried to find a way to save him and came back with nothing! But I hurt my friends in the process. Christian and Lissa broke up and he doesn't want to get back with her even if he hurts like hell. Adrian… Adrian is heartbroken because even if I promised I didn't manage to give him the fair chance he asked from me so I ended up hurting him much more than anything. I didn't hear anything from Abe since I came back and my mother…well my mother is only the ghost of the woman she used to be."

"And you think it's all your fault?"

"Of course!! Well…Maybe not directly but if only I had made different choices. Things would be better." I said confidently. "I made all the wrong choices, hurting the one I care about."

"So you are saying that if you could go back…go back knowing everything you know now you'll chose differently?" She asked pleasantly.

"I would give everything to go back."

"How do you know it is not the way things are supposed to be? Maybe that making different choices would only have made things worse."

"That's impossible! Nothing can be worse than that!" I said angrily. "You know you are pretty blind for a guide! You suck!!"

She smiled but remained silent for was seemed an eternity just staring at me. I was about to tell her to take a picture and move on when she walked to stand closer to me.

"Okay if you really think that then I'll help you make different choices." She said resting her hand on my shoulder.

"You…You can do that?" I asked incredulous.

She nodded. "I'll bring you back to the exact moment you want to change. You'll be in the body of your past self but you'll know everything you know now. Once you made what you consider as being the right decision well…I'll bring you back to the present to see what is different."

"And what if I need you?" I asked with apprehension. In all the sci-fi movies I'd seen it was always the same…messing up with the past had grave consequences.

"Just call my name and I'll bring you back here." She said simply.

"I won't need that anyways, I'm pretty sure I'll make the right choice."

"If you say so." She said with a ghost of a smile on her face. "So Rose….Where do you want to go? Which choice do you want to change?"

It only took me a second to figure it out. "I want to go back to the gym after Spokane with Dimitri when he told me he refused Tasha offer. I…I have to make him take it. No matter what."

"If you think so" said Agate snapping her fingers and I was blinded by a white light.

"No" said an abrupt voice behind me.

"What?" I asked turning around and seeing Dimitri took my breath away. She did it! He was wearing the same pair of old faded blue jeans and navy blue thermal shirt he was wearing on that day.

"No," He repeated. "I told her no. Tasha."

I looked down and took a deep breath It was my second chance, my chance to make it right. _You have to save him! Send him away from here. _I said to myself.

"Yeah…I think you should reconsider" I said looking up meeting his beautiful deep brown eyes that I loved so much.

**In next chapter, the Rose /Dimitri scene and the consequences on the present =D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N: **Hey guys!!

Here come chapter 1... Exciting right?…lmao. Anyways I hope you'll enjoy and you can suggest any scene you would like Rose to revisit and make a different choice.

Just let me tell you that I have ideas till chapter 5 so far ( chapt 3: she won't tell Mason about Spokane, chapt 4: she never became friend with Lissa and chapt 5: she will have stopped Lissa's parents from taking the car the day of the accident)

Thanks for the reviews.

**ENJOY & REVIEW pretty please. =D**

**Chapter 1:**

"I…What?" Asked Dimitri completely dumbfounded.

"You know I thought about it…a lot and I think you taking Tasha offer is the sensible thing to do for you...and for me too actually."

Dimitri arched one of his perfect eyebrow and it took all my will power not to jump in his arms to tell him how much I loved him, how much I missed him.

"I would go if I could but I don't have the opportunity yet." I said as coldly as I could. It was not that hard to pretend actually as I kept seeing in my mind over and over again when Nathan took him away and changed him in the monster he was in my reality.

"I…what is happening here Rose? Your expression switched in a second. I look into your eyes and it's like you're a different person than you were five minutes ago."

I met his eyes trying to hide my surprise. Of course Dimitri would notice the change, he knew me well enough. "My will was wavering but I'm myself again. For me please…please leave" I asked with a begging tone. "I really need to move on but I can't with you here."

Dimitri looked at me without a word and I could see the pain in his face. I knew that back then he was already in love with me. I knew he was about to tell me that I owned his heart and I was not strong enough to hear it all a second time around.

"What we feel for each other made us do stupid things and it led to Masons' death" I said making him wince "look into my eyes, I mean it when I say staying here together will lead to only more trouble."

"You…You really want me to go?" He asked incredulous his Russian accent thicker than usual.

"Yes…With every fiber of my being. Please…give me the peace I need." _I_ _need you to be safe _I added to myself. "I don't want to care for you anymore" I added hurting us both in the process.

"That's…That changes everything" he said barely louder than a whisper. "I owe you that much. I'll be gone by the end of the day…be safe Roza." He said kissing my forehead before storming out of the gym.

I hope it worked I whispered and I felt like falling into a black hole.

I woke up in a room I didn't know. I frowned standing up and quickly looked by the window. It was late afternoon and the landscape was almost the same than in the room I used to have.

"I'm still at the academy…" I whispered already happy that something was normal.

I reached up to unfasten my ponytail but I didn't have one. I touched my head and gasped, my hair were short, but really short, almost GI Jane short, I didn't even have 2 inches.

"What did I do?!" I said looking for a mirror and was almost as shocked not to find one. I was Rose Hathaway, I was not vain or anything but I ALWAYS had a mirror in my room!

I frowned finally noticing the little wooden door near my empty book selves. I didn't know how long I had been in that room but none of my stuff were out, they were in boxes on the floor.

I opened the door and snickered. "Private bathroom?! Nice!!" I said turning on the light In the mini bathroom. When I faced the mirror I just had time to bring my hand over my mouth to stop me from screaming.

"What…What…" I touched my reflection. "What happened to me?" I whispered still looking at my reflection not able to grasp that the girl staring back at me was well…me!

I brought my shaky hand to my right cheek just under the eyes, was the most disgusting scar I had ever seen. It like an oval and it was actually making a big hole like if a piece of flesh had been chewed off. It was a bit similar of Tasha scar and I started to think that the Strigoi attack didn't turn out that well this time.

"My face…" I whispered noticing now the scar that was running from my upper lip to my chin.

I heard a light knock on my door but I was so lost in the contemplation of my ravaged face that I didn't even bother answering.

About one minute later the person knocked again.

"Rose it's me… let me in."

"Ozera?" I said frowning. I barely recognized his voice, it had an edge to it. I walked out of the bathroom. "Christian?" I asked from behind the door.

I knew it was stupid as that _'reality'_ had probably seen my messed up face already but I was really self-conscious.

"Yeah it's me. Are…Are you ready?" He asked and I recognized the edge…it was sadness.

"Ready? Ready for what?" I asked still not opening the door.

Christian sighed from behind the door but it was not exasperation it was like someone giving up. "Rose please…I can't do it alone. I need you there with me." He begged.

_Christian begging?_ I thought agape. _Christian never begged!!_ I guessed Lissa and him were not together in that reality.

I opened the door slowly and it was really him standing in front of me but he was so different too. His hair were very short too but it was the expression on his face, it was so hard, but his eyes were haunted. He was in pain, it was like an opened wound throbbing.

Christian hugged me fiercely burying his head in my neck. I hugged him back, as fiercely as he did.

"They are just waiting for the heroes now…" He said with heavy sarcasm when he let go of me

"Who are the heroes?" I asked as he walked in the room.

Christian had the door of my dresser open and he was acting like he was at home. I was about to tell him to butt off my stuff but it seemed to be so natural for him, maybe it was an habit.

"You are kidding me right? Did you drink again?" He asked not joking just concerned. He took out a very sober, very dull black dress from the dresser. "Here"

I took the dress and walked in the bathroom, I put it quickly, washed my face and walked back in the room. Christian was sat on my bed completely oblivious to my return, a look of profound despair on his face.

"Hmmm Chris…can you zip me up?" I asked softly turning around.

"Uh? Oh yeah!" He said jumping of the bed to zip my dress up.

"We can do it Rose" he said taking my hand.

I looked down and saw that his hand was ravaged with scars…bite marks.

I nodded.

He took a deep breath. "Ok let's go." He said pulling me close to him.

As we left the building I could see that I was not actually staying in the students part of the building anymore but in the end of the staff wing.

As Christian and I walked hand in hand to the chapel people crossing our path just looked down in a weird way making me frown.

I started to have trouble breathing like I didn't want to find out what was happening.

"Hey hey breath Rose just breath." Said Christian soothingly turning toward me. "We have to be there for the memorial but don't forget what we said, I'm your salvation and you are mine. We can do it together. "

"I don't know" I whispered starting to understand where we were going.

We walked in the chapel, and as we walked down the aisle, people stopped talking and looked at us with a mix of sadness, respect, and empathy. Even our worse enemies.

I let my eyes wander around and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the memorial of who we lost in the battle. Three names jumped to my eyes and the pain I felt at this moment was like nothing I ever felt before…not even close.

My legs kicked out from under me and Christian had to hold me tight to keep me strait. He helped me sat on the bench.

I had the eyes glued to the black marble memorial: _Vasilisa Elisabeth Dragomir, Adrian Tristan Ivashkov _and_ Edison James Castile_.

I was gasping for air.

"They can't be dead…no it's impossible, they can't be dead." I kept whispering over and over again and that was when the memories of this new reality hit me like a wave.

Since Dimitri left I was not near the cabin when the Strigoi attacked, I was with Christian in the chapel doing some community service after a stunt we pulled in his culinary class.

When we came out, the fight had already been going on for some time. The guardians were not ready to fight, the Moroi didn't have change to hide. Christian and I fought together like lions, killing even more Strigoi than we did the first time around. We ended up with a lot of injuries but at least we were breathing.

We were the one that found Lissa and Adrian dead and we almost lost it. Guilt and loss was overwhelming. We were treated like heroes now but we were in such an heavy depression that we were in our own little world only talking to each other.

Dimitri came back just after the attacked but I refused to even looked at him apparently considering it was all his fault.

No I couldn't stay here. It was like being in hell.

"Agate!" I shouted in the chapel.

All eyes were on me.

"Rose stop" Christian whispered trying to calm me down.

"Agate bring me back please!! I was wrong! Come on!!" I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "AGATE!!!" I shouted as loud as I could.

When I opened my eyes, I was on the roof top again with Agate in front of me. I was so relieved that I felt on my knees sobbing.

"That…That was terrible". I said with difficulty still sobbing on the floor.

"I know" she whispered.

"I never felt such a terrible pain. Losing them…Lisa, Adrian , Eddie it was like having my heart ripped out of my chest."

"I'm sorry."

"Maybe…maybe it was not that choice I was supposed to change." I said looking up to meet her patient eyes.

"I didn't expect any less from you" she said with a small smile. "What do you want to change then."

"I want to go back to after the fight with the Strigoi while I was with Dimitri." I took a deep breath and looked down as I was ashamed to even consider that. I was like willingly condemning one of my friend to death. "I won't help them with the rescue, I won't tell them about the hiding spot."

"Okay…" Said Agate snapping her fingers and I was blinded by the white light again.


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N: **Hey Guys!!

See I did my best and wrote this chapter today. I really hope you'll like it ( it has not been betaed so please...be cool with me =D)

Next chapter will have a lot more humor on it I promise.

Don't forget to review, it's what keep me going.

Hugsies =D

**Chapter 2:**

I was back outside the Academy, facing Mason. He was pointing to the spot on the map where the Strigoi held the others captive. I just had to turn around, look at Dimitri and tell him that Mason ignored where the Strigoi went. It was so easy to believe… so easy to pull off. I knew the future and it was my one chance to change it, make it right.

But, instead of doing that, I turned around "Mason knows where they went… he pointed to that area." I said and I couldn't believe I was making the exact same choice yet again.

"Are you... Is he sure?" Asked Dimitri.

Here was my chance again. I could shake my head and say that he was probably confused but I nodded and heard myself say "yeah he is positive."

"What's wrong with me?!" I shouted exasperated.

Dimitri eyed me warily but I just dismissed it with a gesture of the end. Ok… It was ok. Maybe I just couldn't take a decision that would ultimately kill one of my friend. It would be like having their blood on my hands and I couldn't accept that but I lived through the fight once, I could change the outcome! I could stopped the three Strigoi appearance and stop Nathan before he could take Dimitri by surprise. It would be easy, I knew exactly when to strike!

_Yeah that's actually the perfect plan. I can actually save us all! _I thought marveling

The rest of the day went just the same way than the first time. I heard Dimitri's declaration of love a second time around but knowing how I lost him in my reality it was so hard to hear it, I almost broke into tears.

_I won't lose him this time…I won't let it happen again_. I thought with confidence. _Nathan won't stole my heart the second time around!!_

The fight went smoothly like the first time.

My chest was painful as we started exited the caves. We were so close of the exit and I remembered that moment perfectly, like it all happened yesterday.

To be honest, I think you never forget the day your hopes died, the day when you saw all your dreams and possibilities of finally getting the love you were waiting for taking away from you.

I knew as we rounded the corner that Nathan was about to jump on Dimitri's back. Just a second before the attack I shoved Dimitri toward my mother as hard as I could.

"Watch out!" I shouted so loud that I could taste the blood in the back of my throat.

In this reality I was the one Nathan grabbed by behind and I couldn't help my sigh of relief. Dimitri was going to live.

"Go! Save yourselves." I said as loudly as I could as Nathan showed me on the floor. "So Nate… ready to bite?" I asked looking into Nathan's blue eyes that was ringed with red.

I saw surprise shot in his eyes and I hoped that surprise would help me just a second while I shoved my stake in his heart but he was too smart and caught my hand.

"Roza No!!!" Shouted Dimitri and I heard him back track toward me.

"No Dimitri! Go! I love you!" I shouted turning my head slightly to my right and I could only see his feet getting closer.

At this instant, I saw three other pair of feet getting behind Dimitri and catching him. I could see him being dragged away.

I heard my mom shout as Nathan's face came down dangerously. I was panicking now, I did all that for nothing!! Dimitri has been taken anyways. I didn't succeed this time either…I was just a failure. Tears started to fill my eyes and Nathan's face was blurry. But, in a last, I knew completely useless, attempt to break free I turned my face briskly and bite Nathan's cheek as hard as I could and didn't let go.

Nathan groaned jumping up so fast I didn't even realize it before I was standing too. He was keeping me upright by the hair. There were 2 other Strigoi having his back. I knew at this exact second that everything was lost.

"What about the other?" He asked still looking at me but I knew he was talking to one of the Strigoi behind us.

"We have him, he is almost drained like you asked…you can awake him whenever you're ready." Said a woman voice.

Nathan grinned widely. It was pure evil and gave me the chill. "Well we have the second best…You are too much hassle. I don't need you that much after all." He added.

I had the time to see his hands quickly move to my neck and I felt a sharp pain when everything went black.

When I opened my eyes I was on the roof top with Agate looking at me thoughtful.

"What happened?" I asked frowning with confusion my neck tickling with a weird sensation.

"Don't you know?"

"He killed me right?"

Agate nodded." Yeah, you don't exist in this reality but…but you need to see what happened after your death."

"Why? There is no point for me to see if I'm dead" I said stubbornly looking down. "I died fighting." I looked up and part of me thought about staying in that reality. I wouldn't have to face the consequences of the fight. I would die as a hero trying to protect the ones I loved…there was no more meaningful way to die especially since I was on that roof completely drunk to jump. Dying for dying…better falling in a fight.

"I know you better than you can think Rose." She said with a knowing smile. "I think I even know you better than you know yourself. You don't see yourself clearly enough…you don't know how precious you are so…Before you decide anything." She came to kneel beside me and reached for my hand. "You need to see…see it all."

"How?" I asked looking into her hazel eyes and seeing all the love and goodness in them you could figure right then she wasn't human… no human, dhampir or Moroi could be that pure.

"Come with me." She said taking my hand. We walked at the end of the rooftop to the door but, when she opened the door, I couldn't see the stairs back to the dorms. We walked in a huge mansion…a mansion that I knew very well unfortunately. It was Galina estate near Novosibirsk.

I could feel all my muscles lock with fear.

Agate probably felt my packing because she squeezed my hand gently. "Don't be afraid Rose, they can't see us. If you want to know what a specific person is feeling you can bring your hand on them, like to touch them and you'll feel it all…A bit like you can with Lissa."

"I---" I stared but I stopped when I heard an angry voice…"Dimitri" I whispered walking in the direction of the voice keeping my hold on Agate's hand.

"I said we're ready and we're going" he roared to an half scared Strigoi.

"I….ye- yes sir" he stuttered taking two step back.

"I'm not very patient Kenneth and I never were." He said threateningly.

It was not true! The Dimitri I had known, even his Strigoi version, had always been patient with me.

"Yes but they are not you Rose…You were his weakness" Said Agate answering my unspoken thoughts yet again. I shot her a dark look. "Sorry I will really try not to do that again." She said sheepishly.

I gave her a small smile and nodded.

"I made all this mine and you don't think it was with my sweet talk do you?" He said now sitting in a big and probably insanely expensive leather chair behind the big desk.

"So he killed them anyways?" I asked to Agate surprised. "Nathan, Galina and the others?"

She nodded. "Well the Strigoi Dimitri before you is different and the other one. You see the other one had you to keep him slightly human. But this one well…this one is even more driven by hate than the other one. He is seeking revenge for your death" she added seriously.

I looked at her dumbfounded.

"They took her from me!" Dimitri shouted punching the desk. "It can't go unpunished."

"But you already destroyed Nathan….he was the one who killed her." Said Kenneth the Strigoi.

"He killed Nathan for me?" I asked to Agate.

She winced. "Killed…Well yeah with lots of tortured actually." She added and the way she said that made me shiver.

"But they are the one who taught her these stupid notions of Honor and duty…" he snorted. "I'll destroy them as they destroyed her."

I walked to him and rested my hand on his shoulder. Agate was right, I could feel everything he felt and it took my breath away. In the surface there was a lot of hate, evil, dark and twisted thoughts. He had no conscience anymore, no notion of right or wrong. He was driven by his desire to conquer, to destroy and to gain revenge. As I tried to get deeper I found it, very deep down, the part of him that loved me profoundly. He was grieving, he wanted me back and he was not set to deal with that.

I remembered what he told me in our reality, when he had kidnapped me. He said _'my exterior…my power, yes that's different. Better. But otherwise, I'm the same Roza. My essence hasn't changed. The connection between us hasn't changed.'_

It was right as now I could feel it, burning deep inside of him that love, the love that he probably refused to acknowledge out loud was still here. He hated that vulnerability, he hated to be grieving and he wanted revenged more than anything else.

"When do you want to strike?" Asked the other Strigoi.

Dimitri stayed silent for a moment and I could see images flashing in his mind. It was me only me.

"The army has been raised. We could go tomorrow just after sunset" he said sternly.

"The target is still--"

"St Vladimir Academy in Montana? Yes" he said standing up. He walked to a huge book case before turning around briskly. "Tell the others that can have whomever they want. Once I let them in, it's free kill but they have to let Princess Vasilisa Dragomir alone." His eyes turned even darker and is voice colder. "She is mine."

I looked at Agate agape. "He…He is blaming Lissa?"

"She didn't save you" She said shrugging. "He is a strigoi Rose…he much rather feel rage and hate than loss and grief." She extended her hand toward me. "Come on let's go. I have another place to show you."

I took her hand, and as we exited the office, we didn't walk in the mansion corridor but in the corridor of the guest dorms back at the Academy.

"Adrian?" I asked curiously.

Agate shook her head. "No Adrian is in no shape to help" she said sadly. She pointed to a door. "Come on go in" she said encouragingly.

I literally walked through the door and found Christian sat on the floor, chin resting on his bent knee.

Tasha was on a chair looking down at him sorrowfully. "I'm sorry"

"It's just… I don't know what to do anymore" he said and I never heard Christian as vulnerable as he was now. "I never felt so helpless and for the first time in so long I don't see how things could be alright again."

"Things are that bad uh?" Asked Tasha rhetorically.

Christian nodded and let out an heavy sigh of despair. "It's like she died yesterday. I loved Rose don't get me wrong but They just…the just act like the 4 last months never happened." He shook his head "after they tried to heal her and failed--"

"It's not their fault!" said Tasha quickly. "When they found her body it was far too late to bring her back."

"I know that but Adrian and Lissa can't accept it…" he looked up and met Tasha's eyes. "You saw them right?"

Tasha nodded wearily.

"Adrian is drunk 24/7 for the last four months. I'm pretty sure he has no liver left and when I try to tell him anything he say he rather be a goner anyways than to continue to live with that guilt. And Lissa….Lissa is back on the anti depressant tablets but even with that, it has been 6 weeks since she last walk out of her room."

"I know…"Whispered Tasha. "What about Janine and Eddie?"

Christian shrugged slightly. "I haven't heard from them. Since Janine resigned and Eddie left the Academy, nothing at all. He took a deep breath. It's like when Rose died…We all died with her."

I quickly walked out of the room tears starting to fall down my cheeks. "I…please bring me back" I begged Agate.

She gave me a sad smile and clacked her fingers.

We were on the roof top again I looked at the sun, it was still as the same place. I guessed that Agate stopped the time.

"What happened then?" I asked.

"I…" She sighed. "The Strigoi attacked and they won."

"Dimitri?"

Agate nodded. "Yes…He killed Vasilisa."

I closed my eyes, "I only bring pain to the others right? To the one I care about."

"Rose no it's not what---"

"I know what to do!" I said jumping up.

"And what is that?"

"I want to go back to when I was 5 and walked into my first class."

Agate frowned clearly not expecting that. "Why?"

"I will never befriend Lissa. If she never knew me…nothing bad would have happened to her."

A ghost of a smile played on Agate lips. "As you wish" she said clacking her fingers as the, now familiar, white light blinded me.


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N:** Hey Guys!!

Thanks for the one who reviewed the last chapter. Thanks for being patient as I told you this story won't be UD as often as the other.

Anyways I hope you'll enjoy this one. Don't forget to review .

Hugsies.

**Chapter 3:**

Here I was now in my five years old body. I looked around in amazement and couldn't help to feel nostalgic seeing 5 years old Mason and Eddie chatting like they had known each other forever even if we all met only about a week ago.

Actually the first year dhampirs didn't get to mingle with the first year Moroi before a week after arriving at the Academy and it was today.

The first time I lived this situation, I spotted the little blond girl and she smiled so kindly at me that I decided to sit beside her. I never had a girl friend before and it was intriguing.

This time when I walked in and Lissa looked at me I simply glared back before looking around for an empty seat.

My eyes locked on the back of the room where a little bronze hair Moroi, probably Jesse, was bullying a little black hair boy with icy blue eyes…Christian.

_Why not? _I thought walking closer to discreetly to hear what Jesse was saying.

"So your parents were strigoi? Aren't you ashamed? My parents said you will grow into a Strigoi too." He said teasing.

I remembered then, based on what Lissa had told me, that Christian's parent turned Strigoi that very same summer, just before starting school.

I sighed. _Apparently Jesse was always an Ass!! _I thought

I tapped Jesse's shoulder from behind making him turn around briskly.

"You walk away now Moroi" I said as threateningly as I could in my five years old body. I was still brand new here and I didn't have a reputation. Jesse was still taller and stronger than me but I still had all my techniques.

Jesse looked at me mockingly.

"I already know how to fight" I told him fiercely, head high. "Believe me…walk away now."

Jesse seemed to ponder it for a minute and decided it was not worth it and walked back to his seat.

I sat beside Christian.

"I didn't need your help." Said Christian coldly looking at her table.

"I know" I said nicely. I knew only too well how he was grieving. I knew him too well now, I could see through his pretense.

He looked at me curiously. "You are not scared I'll hurt you?"

I smiled and shook my head. "No I'm not scared. Do you want me to be scared?"

He shook his head negatively and gave me what I thought was the attempt of a smile.

I reached toward him, to shake his hand. "My name is Rose Hathaway, nice to meet you."

Christian took my hand and shook it. I could see how much he enjoyed having someone who was looking at him like a normal person. "My name is Christian Ozera and it's very nice to meet you Rose."

The scene faded away and I was waken up to the beeping sound of an alarm clock.

I sighed opening my eyes. I was lying on my side, eyes directed on the clock. It was already late in the morning so I figured it was the weekend. I was reaching to turn the alarm off when I heard a moan behind me and a warm body snuggling against my back. I froze on the spot all my muscles tensed.

_Who the hell am I sleeping with?! _I thought still not moving and looking around the room for clues.

My eyes locked on a picture at the same time than the man behind me talked.

"Good morning angel." Said Christian while kissing the back of my neck lovingly.

"What the--" I jumped out of bed turning briskly to face him.

He grinned at me and it took me a second to understand why.

"I'm naked!" I gasped stupidly trying to cover strategically places with my hands and arms knowing deep down it was pointless.

"That's good since I'm naked too" said Christian seductively taking the covers off exposing his body.

"Oh dear god!" I said looking away reaching for the first piece of clothing I could find. It was a black t-shirt, but it was a man's so it was long enough to cover myself. "What's wrong with you?!" I asked with anger.

Christian frowned probably surprised by my anger.

"I could ask you the same thing!" He said standing up apparently not bothered by his nakedness. "You're playing all prude when I saw you naked at least a thousand times! I know your body by heart."

"You do?" I asked almost whining.

Now there was worry etched into Christian's face as he quickly jumped into his boxers.

"Rose you are worrying me now" he said nicely coming to stand in front of me resting his hands on my shoulders. "I've known you my whole life. We've been dating for 5 years now so yeah…." He smiled "I've seen you naked about a thousand times but don't worry.." He winked "The sight of you naked or not still takes my breath away."

"I…" I sighed shaking my head. "Sorry I probably had a bad dream."

Christian kissed my forehead and hugged me tight. "It's alright my angel, you know I'll always keep you safe" he whispered in my hair.

"We'll better get ready now" he said letting go of me.

"Yeah" I said pretending to know what he was talking about. I still couldn't figure how we managed to get the Academy to let us share the same room.

"I'll come to pick you up in about an hour okay?"

I looked at him confused. "From where?"

"Your room…in the dhampir dorm." He tried slowly like I was mentally challenged. "But I still think you could bring more of your stuff here I mean even if it's not official every guardian on campus know we are sleeping together almost every night."

"Right." I said with a small laugh but the thought of Christian and me having sex gave me the chills. It felt like incest to me.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asked from behind me as I was looking to the pictures of us he had on his wall. It was covering almost all our moments together from us being kid till now and we were so in love…happy.

"I'm in love with you." I whispered but it was more directed to myself than to him. I was simply stating what I was seeing on the pictures.

"Well I sure hope so since you agreed to marry me." He said chuckling.

My eyes darted to my left hand and I saw the small diamond ring on my ring finger. "You've got to be shitting me!" I said to myself. I looked up "We're going to get married??"

"I…Yes we're supposed to get married after graduation Rose. We've been engaged for more than a year." He looked around. "You know what, maybe we should go to the clinic. The blow that Mason gave you is probably more serious than we thought."

"Mason?!" I asked as joy filled me. _Mason is alive!! _I marveled. "No no it's ok I promise" I said a lot more cheerful, knowing that one thing, at least, was right.

"I know he is your best friend Rose but still…" he shook his head. "He was idiotic to catch you off guard like that."

_Mason…my best friend? _I thought as cold sweat started to fall down my neck. I looked at him for a while, I was scared to ask him about Lissa…I was dreading asking him about Lissa.

"Is Lissa around?" I asked trying to sound nonchalant.

"Lissa?" He asked apparently confused.

"Lissa…Vasilisa Dragomir."

"I…" He thought for a while. "Did we know her? I don't think we did, not really I mean."

_Oh my…we were a 'we' urgh_. I thought plastering a small smile on my face.

"Did?" I asked dressing up as I needed something to do. I knew he was a step away from forcing me to the clinic.

"What made you think about her?" He looked at the calendar "Oh right… Yeah it was about 2 years ago now right? It's sad that's for sure but with her parents death and all that." He shrugged slightly. "They should have taken better care of her."

"Maybe it would have happened anyways." I tried wanting to find out what happened.

"Well they should have done something after the first time she tried to kill herself and now look…They had her institutionalized." He shook his head. "Such a waste, the last Dragomir."

I looked at him agape as pain filled me. I was not there to help deal with the Spirit effects and she dealt with her parents death alone. She got overwhelmed and just like Mrs. Karp she was in a padded cell.

She was not better off without me! It was horrible!

I closed my eyes tightly and called _Agate, Agate, Agate_ in my mind like a prayer.

I reopened my eyes when I felt the light breeze in my hair.

"Do you understand now?" Asked Agate patiently.

"Understand what? That Lissa needed me? Yeah I figured it out."

"See even if your life was great there, you still wanted to come back."

"My life wasn't great! Lissa was institutionalized!" I shouted.

"Her life was a mess but yours wasn't."

"Well…I don't care about me." I stood up. "It's…no I couldn't stay there."

"And you are still wondering why you deserved a guide." She said with a smile.

I looked at her confused but didn't comment.

"Can't I make things better?"

"What do you think?" She asked patiently. "You tried to change things and--"

"But I only made things worse!" I said exasperated.

A light gleamed in Agate eyes. "And what does that tell you Rose?"

"That I tried to change the wrong things? Maybe… Maybe I should try to change things that I know, without a doubt, were mistakes."

"I give you one more chance Rose. Where do you want to go?"

I pondered that for a minute and tried to find what my biggest mistake had been since I came back to the Academy.

"Spokane" I whispered.

"Sorry?"

"I want to go back to the ski lodge just before I told Mason about Spokane. I won't tell him the secret."

Agate looked at me for a minute. "As you wish" she said snapping her fingers.


	5. Chapter 6

**A.N:**Hey guys!!

I told you I didn't give up this story. I just needed time to get organized and get inspired so here is chapter 5. I hope you'll enjoy and don't forget to review =D.

This story has no beta so please no bashing =D

Oh by the way I've posted a poll on my profile for the subject of my next story so...if you want to participate don't hesitate!!!

Take care

Steffy

_**Chapter 5: **_

I was face to face with Mason and I realized how much I missed him. That was when I told him everything about Spokane but instead I hugged him fiercely.

"Hey Rose" he chuckled hugging me back. "I like it when you throw yourself in my arms."

"Oh Mason!" I said hugging him even tighter. "I won't make the same mistake again."

"I…know." He said to humor me but I knew he was confused.

I let go and smiled shyly. "I.. it's just the deaths and all that."

"I know" he said somberly. "If only we knew where those bloodsuckers were!!"

I stayed silent looking down the corridor where Dimitri and I fought just minutes ago. I realized the extend of my childish attitude. I was much more mature now, the terrible things that had happened in my life did really alter me to the core.

"Earth to Rose…Can you hear me Rose?" Mason asked teasing.

"Uh?! What? Sorry!" I said blushing slightly.

"Belikov…Did he say anything to you about the attacks?"

"I….No nothing." I said shaking my head.

"By the way you are not drunk now right?" asked Mason quietly raising an eyebrow.

"I guess not…" I said warily.

"So maybe," He blushed furiously. "M--maybe you would like to end the little _'conversation'_ we had last night."

"What conv-" I stopped finally realizing what he was talking about. It had been 6 months for me and everything that happened made it understandable for me to forget. For him, it was only last night that I threw myself at him, ready to take it as far as possible between us.

I cleared my throat loudly. "Well…You know I--" I looked around.

"Yeah that's what I thought." He said trying to sound detached but I could see the hurt in his eyes.

I sighed, I felt bad to hurt him. "I like fooling around with you Mas I really do and" I smile sadly. "I really wish I could feel for you all these things but I can't. You are perfect for me it will be so easy it's just--"

"Not there?" He tried.

I nodded sheepishly.

Mason chuckled , surprising me. I thought my words would hurt him even more but it seemed to do the exact opposite.

"It's funny but it seemed to changed in just one day."

"What do you mean?"

"You've been straight with me, and--" He shrugged slightly. "I like that, I didn't expect it."

"The new and improved Rose" I said with a wink.

Everything went white again and I was back on the rooftop with Agate.

"What the f--" but Agate raised her hand to shush me.

"Please Rose…Keep the swearing to a minimum here."

"But…I didn't change anything by doing that?" I asked truly surprised

"It changed things alright!" She shook her head. "Except that you are dead in this reality."

"Oh…."

"Oh?" She snorted. "That the only effect it has on you?"

"Well… you know." I shrugged.

"Yes I know and you will too. In a minute I'll show you when you died and…all the people that died with you."

"I…" She took my hand just like when she took me to Dimitris', but this time, we just faded away and appeared in the middle of the yard at the Academy, not too far from the chapel.

"You never killed Isaiah and Elena in this reality which mean you couldn't see ghost."

"OK…" I said looking around confused.

"You even knew it yourself, taking them off probably delayed any attack they were planning."

"I know it's j--" I stop dead looking around. The snow was still on and there were no leafs on trees. "They attacked early" I whispered.

"Yes a lot earlier, it's only February and well…they were pretty well organized with their boss around." She said gesturing toward the door of the Administrative building.

I was getting out of it running as well as I could but I could see I was pretty injured. Mason was trying to keep up with my slow pace. He was in terrible shape too. Half his face was covered in blood and his left arm that had been bitten so deep I could see the bone.

"Go in the chapel" I shouted to him. "I've got to find Lissa."

"No come with me!" he said with urgency. "She is with Ozera. He is a fire user, he can protect her."

"He is only a teenage smartass!" I snapped. "I'm her guardian! I have to keep her safe!"

"It's suicide!!" He shouted after me when I tried to run faster.

Agate and I followed myself (confusing much) to the Moroi dorm which was suspiciously silent, too silent.

I tiptoed to the first floor and found Lissa sobbing holding Christian dead body in her arms.

"They killed him Rose…and… and my powers don't work!" She almost screamed.

"Shush Liss they could hear y--" I didn't get a chance to finish as a Strigoi jumped me from behind and ripped off my carotid with his teeth not even bothering to suck my blood.

"No!!" shouted Lissa as my body hit the floor. My vision was getting blurry as the blood exited my body to a deadly pace but I was alive long enough to see Lissa, my best friend…the girl I was supposed to protect being forcefully awaken as a Strigoi.

I was so shocked that I didn't even realized when Agate brought us back.

"Damn it!" I swore and I couldn't care of Agate heavenly status right now. "That's just--- argh!!"

"Just what?"

"Fucking frustrating!" I shouted so loud I was sure that, in any normal situation, they could have heard me as far as the lower campus.

"Why is that?"

"Are you blind?! I mean really, each time I'm trying to make things right it' gets even worse!!"

"But maybe it's because it's the way things are supposed to be." She said still very calm.

I had to admit her cool really impressed me. I couldn't have stayed so smug with a crazy teenager throwing a tantrum.

"Oh yeah my life is supposed to be screwed up! Uh…yeah that's probably it. I'm damned." I said stubbornly kicking some gravel from the rooftop.

Agate sighed. "That's your biggest flaw Rose, always acting before thinking."

I shot her my best murderous glare but it didn't even impressed her a bit. I guessed she knew I couldn't do much against an angel.

"Maybe the way things are now IS the best scenario possible. Have you even considered that?"

"Mason is dead, Dimitri is Strigoi. I'm suffering so deep inside I have trouble breathing. Adrian is sad, Lissa is sad, Christian is sad…" I tapped my chin with my forefinger pretending to think. "Of course now that I think about it…my life is _Wonderland_!! Ohh thank you dear heavenly creature for showing me all that!!" I said with a big fake smile and heavy sarcasm. "I'm going to go down right now and write a musical about it!! What about _'Vampiric High School musical: My ride to hell'_ ? Catchy right?"

Agate just stared at me with a ghost of a smile on her face. "Do you think you are the only one who lost people you cared about? What about Lissa uh? She lost her entire family in the blink of an eye… And your friend Christian? He lost his parents twice! Once to the dark side and then they were killed just before his eyes. "

"I---" Now, thinking about it, I felt like a terrible brat.

"All I'm saying is that every single human on this planet will experience pain, loss and suffering." Agate walked to where I was kneeling and very gently padded my head. "I mean how can you appreciate the good things in life if--"

"Please don't go there" I almost growled.

"Go where?" She asked confused.

"I really REALLY can't deal with all the inspirational crap right now. I mean if that was what I needed I would go to a Chinese restaurant and get a damn Fortune cookie! It will say things like_ 'To appreciate joy you have to experience sadness'_ or _'what doesn't kill you make you stronger' _or even _'sometime things have to go wrong to go right again'_ I mean…" I shook my head. "It's only good to piss me off."

"All I mean is that we all have our share of pain and loss Rose but jumping right now won't change anything. You still have a lot to live and a lot of joy to experience."

My eyes narrowed with suspicion. "What are you saying? I have a bright future ahead?" I snorted. "Try again."

"You have some bright futures ahead Rose and…well…some dark ones."

I snorted again.

She sighed finally getting slightly annoyed with me.

"Let me show you what your future could be, some of them" she said reaching for my hand.

I looked at her hand warily.

"Come on Rose…trust me. What is the worse that could happen? You were about to kill yourself anyways."

I grimaced but took her hand as a blinding light wrapped us.


	6. Chapter 7

**A.N:** Hey guys!!!

So here the update just so you know the parts in _italic_ are the future and the other are the present.

Don't forget to review, and don't forget…this story has no beta =D

Take care =D

**Chapter 6:**

We appeared in a living room, it was a pretty bright room with a lot of windows so it was clearly not a Moroi place. But it was very cozy, it has a very warm feeling to it….if felt like 'home', not that I never had one.

"Where are we?"

"In a possible future." Agate rested her hand on my shoulder. "I can't show you too much, or share too many information but you need to see that what happened to you so far well…that's the past and when it comes to the past, no matter how much it hurts…It's done."

I looked at her with a look that probably said _'One more inspirational crappy quote and I'll punch you.'_

She chuckled lightly. "All I'm saying is that mourning over the past is far from being productive, there is hope in your life…Just see." She said pointing at the door.

That's when I walked in, well at least an older version of myself.

"How old am I?"

"Well that much I can tell. The Rose in front of you is 34."

"Uh…I'm aging well" I said with a small smile.

Agate just chuckled without commenting.

The older version of myself was dressed in the guardian official suit. Black pants, black vest and white shirt. I still had long hair even if they were shorter, only barely grazing my shoulder blades.

She was peaceful, content….humming some tunes.

"I can feel what she feel."

"I know you can, I will share as much of the future that I can without putting any of it at risk. "

"Oh my! What does that mean?!" I said as older me tightened her hair in a high bun. I had a good look at my neck.

I had 2 big battles tattoos, my promise mark, one I didn't recognize and about 15 _molnija_.

"Life happened Rose I never said those futures would be easy to gain. I just said it would be worth it."

"How--"

"_MOMMY!!" I heard a little boy whine from the other room._

_My older self chuckled. "Yes Maxim?"_

I was completely stunned. I was a mom? And I could feel the unconditional love in myself, it was such an intense feeling.

"_Cousin Lucas is mean to me!" said the little boy storming in the room._

_Maybe it was because he was my son but he was the cutest little boy I had ever seen. He was probably 4 or 5. He had my deep chocolate eyes and light brown hair, with a buttoned nose._

"_How come?" I asked sitting on the sofa as Maxim crawled on my lap._

"_He doesn't want to let me in his room and Emily is with him and she doesn't want to let me in either!" He pouted. "They are not nice and…and uncle Christian said it's because they're teenagers. What is that? I want to be one!!" _

Me and my older self chuckled at the same time.

_I sighed. "You'll be a teenager soon honey…Soon enough." I said and couldn't help the nostalgia in my voice._

_But why do they get to go away and I don't?" he asked looking down. _

"_Would you want to go away?" _

"_No…but they make fun of me because I stay." _

_I chuckled. "It's only because they are jealous that you are still staying at the Court with us. You'll go to the Academy too when you'll be 11 but… but you like school here no?"_

"_Really? Jealous?"_

_I smiled "and tell me what's your name?" _

"_Maxim!"_

"_And what does Maxim mean?"_

"_It means 'the greatest' !! Daddy told me!" He said with a big smile._

_I kissed his cheek loudly. "You are the greatest little boy!! I couldn't have dreamed of a better son. "_

_He jumped off my knees._

"_Why don't you go and help daddy get ready?" I said caressing his hair. _

"There is a dad?" I asked to Agate surprised. I am living with a Moroi? I thought to myself.

"Well yeah…Please don't tell me you don't know how babies are made." She said teasingly.

"You…" I sighed "you know what I mean but I guess it's info you can't share."

"_Lucas, Emily!" I shouted from the threshold. "I need to see you in the living room pronto!!"_

_I was trying to keep my face severe but it was hard not to smile._

"_Aunt Rose" said the Moroi boy, Lucas walking in followed by a dhampir girl of approximately the same age. _

_Lucas was the exact copy of Christian, same face, exact same shaggy black hair. The only difference was in the eyes. He had Lissa's pale green eyes. _

"_Come on kids," I shook her head. "Why do you keep torturing Maxim uh?" _

"_Because it's fun." Said the young dhampir girl, throwing a cheeky, accomplice smile to Lucas. She was beautiful, long dark hair and violet eyes. They were looking at each other that they were a team, best friends. Covering each other asses._

"_It's fun eh? Ok…" I nodded "we will see if it will still be fun when you'll go to the Academy without your iPod and every other electronically devises you own." _

"_But mom!!" She whined_.

"Mom??!!" I said disbelieving. I, Rose Hathaway, had two children?! That was science fiction!!

"_The same goes for you mister." I said pointing at Lucas. "You know that your parents, you uncle and my words are law in this house."_

"_I know…" he grumbled reluctantly looking down. _

"_I mean you know how the kid love you both! He looks up to you, he wants to be just like you and now you're going to the Academy, the first day in middle school and you know he is already sad that you're leaving." _

_Lucas and Emily looked at each other guiltily. _

"_I'll go and play with him for a while" said Lucas._

_I kissed Lucas's' forehead. "You're a good boy" she said and I could feel that even if he was Lissa and Christians' son, I loved him like one of her own. "Emily are your bags ready?"_

_She nodded. _

"_Can you just give me a minute please?"_

_Lucas left the room as Emily sat down beside me on the sofa. _

_I brought my hand to her hair and moved a rebellious strand of hair from her face. "My baby grew up so fast."_

"_Awww mom," she hugged me tight." It's going to be alright. Lucas and I…we'll have each other's back."_

"_I know." I said unconvinced._

"_You saw how uncle Christian showed Lucas how to use fire and you taught me how to fight already. We're going to rule that school!"_

_I chuckled "That I believe…I can wait for Stan Alto to meet you two, our revenge" _

_I chortled. "I'm still a fun chick!!" I said to Agate._

"_And we'll stay in uncle's Adrian apartment anyways, you know it's ok. It will be a bit like being at home."_

_Uncle_ Adrian? I asked Agate. _Uncle_?! I repeated.

"Yeah why?" She asked arching an eyebrow.

"I didn't see that one coming! I always thought--" I blushed slightly.

"Thought what?" She encouraged.

"Well…" I moved on the spot uncomfortably. "I always thought that if I ever had to be a mother, or be with a Moroi it would be with Adrian. Anyone else just seems unthinkable."

"I see." Said Agate concentrating on the scene ahead.

"_I know. Believe me, I know you are both safe there, your uncle will probably spoil you rotten but…" I shrugged. "No what I wanted to tell you is that…People will probably talk once your there."_

"_Because of my family name?" _

"_Yeah that and well…" I shrugged. "I wanted to give you my name at first but your dad loves you so much, it wouldn't have been fair. It's true that our situation is pretty unique so people can get jealous and start to talk and say mean stuff but you shouldn't let any of that hurt you or Lucas ok? Only us know the truth." _

_Emily snorted. "Don't worry ma, I think we heard it all already."_

"_You did?" I asked disbelieving. I knew first hand that kids could be cruel and my poor baby probably didn't experience half of it. _

"_Yeah at school they said that uncle Adrian was in love with you but you chose dad because he was a lot richer and more powerful than him." _

"My husband is richer than an Ivashkov?" I asked to Agate.

She simply shrugged gesturing forward for me to listen.

"Damned angel" I mumbled.

"_That's all?"_

"_Well not really but it doesn't matter" said Emily and you could hear the sincerity in her voice. "We are a family that love each other very much and that all that matters." _

"_Humor me…" I said with a forced smile. "What else did you hear?"_

_She rolled her eyes. "That grandpa is a very dangerous man, like the head of the mafia and stuff. But I'm like Granpapa? A mobster?" She snorted. "That's never going to happen!!"_

_I forced a smile. "What else?"_

"But he is totally a mobster!!" I said to Agate.

"Well maybe becoming a grandfather changed him."

"_Well that Uncle Adrian is still in love with you that's why he never married, that you are not a real guardian and that Lucas's granddad was Strigoi."_

"_But who…who told you that?" _

"_Scott" she said grimacing._

"_Scott…Scott Zeklos? Jesse Zeklos' son?"_

_Emily nodded. _

"_I guess being a douche is genetic." _

"_What?" _

"_No never mind. Well I'll tell you everything now, we still have some time and I think you should get the facts--"_

"_It doesn't matter mom really. We are a family and--"_

"_I'm so proud of you" I said kissing her forehead. "But we still half an hour before flying you to the Academy and I think I should at least give you the basics."_

"_If you want…" Emily shrugged. _

"_Well…not everything of what Scott said is wrong. I'm not really a guardian anymore, I'm more like… an honorary guardian because I never really resigned but I became your father guardian. I…I became your aunt Lissa guardian when I graduated and I met your father about 2 years later. Everything went very fast between us and soon enough here you were. And trust me I couldn't have been more happy but you see your father didn't want to let things like that and wanted us to get married. I loved him very much so we married. He was for too worried for me and I didn't want to risk my life anymore and leave you motherless so, I technically became your father guardian but he already had four so…_

"Four guardians?! But who is this guy? JFK?" I shouted

"I think it's time to go." Said Agate taking my hand.

"Nah come on…"

"You still have many futures to see Rose." She said as everything faded again.


	7. The meeting

**A.N_:_ **Hey guys!!

I know it took me more than a week to update but as I told you before I intended to write a small scene as you were all so eager to find out who the father was but I got inspired and in fact this chapter is 20 pages long!! Lol. I could almost write a whole story!!

Anyways I really hope you're going to enjoy it and don't forget to review. =D

**The meeting.**

"Let's the fun begin" I said sarcastically as our car crossed the huge iron gates of the mansion, well castle really, in Switzerland, in which we were going to spend a month this summer.

"Come on Rose" said Lissa rolling her eyes. "It won't be that bad." She tightened her hold on Christians' hand. "You will be like in holidays the whole month."

"I guess. Will you play with me?" I asked playfully elbowing Eddie.

"I don't think Gina will like that" he said winking.

"Ehhh…" I said looking out of the window to the huge garden.

We graduated two years ago and I really did enjoy being Lissa's guardian. Eddie had been assigned to Christian and I, along with Xavier Crane, were assigned to Lissa.

Xavier was a couple of years older than me and used to be an assigned guardian to the Court. Lissa and I were pretty sure that the Queen assigned him to her as a spy, and one thing was sure, the guy was not fun. I could honestly say that, in the past 2 years, I never even saw the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"I'm sure you'll enjoy your holidays here Rose. I mean, 2 years without even one day off!" said Lissa with a smile.

I shrugged. "It was not hardship Liss." I said as the car parked in front of the modern castle. And it really wasn't hardship. I lived at the Court most of the time so I was pretty free to go around. My father and mother were visiting quite often and after the problem with Adrian the Queen even started to tolerate my presence there, knowing I would never want to be with her nephew ever again.

"I know but still…You deserve your time off."

"If the guardians will follow me" said a tall butler from the top of the stairs.

The three of us nodded.

"Oh not you Miss Hathaway" said the butler.

_Nice I'm rejected even here _I thought narrowing my eyes slowly.

"You are a guest here, I was led to think…" he looked at Lissa "that you were not on duty while at the mansion."

"It's correct" said Lissa as formally as he did. "Rose is in holidays."

_Yeah it will be as fun as roaming the seven circles of hell _I thought still keeping it shut.

Another butler came down to meet us with a couple of grooms.

"It's okay, I can handle my bags" I said putting my duffle bag on my shoulder, keeping my suitcase in hand.

The groom was cute and flashed me his million dollar smile. It took all my will power not to say _'Put some ice on it Buster you won't touch me' _or something along those lines.

I had a room at the beginning of the guest floor. The room was as expected, overly luxury with a king size bed in the middle.

The bathroom was twice the size of the room I used to occupy at the academy with both a Jacuzzi bath and a shower.

I sat on the bed for a while looking at the paintings on the wall, there were no windows in the room of course, this house had been constructed for Moroi. At least I was lucky I was not claustrophobic.

I sighed and decided to go and explore for a while knowing that Lissa and Christian were not likely to come and meet me anytime soon. They had the perturbing habit to _'christen' _every new room they got.

I grimaced walking down the long white windowless corridor. It was okay now, we could avoid a lot of the awkward situations. Now, I could, most of the time, stop her when she subconsciously pulled me into her mind and she also could push me away if she needed to.

But I preferred to keep my mind occupied to minimize the risks. I meant, by now, I did know Christian body by heart…unfortunately.

I took a flight of stair down to the second floor and found a set of open French doors. It was still early morning here in the Moroi world, the sun just set.

I walked on a balcony and looked around. We couldn't see much, the mansion was in a pretty secluded area but I could see it was surrounded by mountains.

"Enjoying the view?" Asked a deep manly voice from behind me.

I turned around and saw a tall Moroi man, probably in his late twenties, leaning against the far wall just beside a door that looked like a service door.

"What about you?" I asked standing straight.

"I am now" he said grinning.

"Pluh-lease!" I rolled my eyes. "Don't even bother."

He chuckled taking a couple of steps toward me but still staying further back then I imagined a man who were flirting to be.

I detailed him quickly. He was rather good looking, short light brown hair. He was very tall probably as tall as Dimitri was he was rather well built for a Moroi too.

"So how come you're out that early?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Working" he said simply.

I looked at his clothes. He was wearing a pair of overused, oversized grey sweat pants and a simple white shirt.

I nodded and narrowed my eyes in suspicion.

"The big banquet tonight" he set pointing at the door behind me. "They are setting the room."

"Oh…" I said feeling silly but I didn't expect something that common. He was probably a manager or something, supervising the setting of the room. He was probably not even in duty yet but just checking anyways…zealous much?

"Are you going?" He asked still standing pretty far from me. _Is he afraid or what? _I thought annoyed.

"Right!" I snorted.

He raised an eyebrow questioning.

"I'm supposed to be here in holidays and believe me, holidays in my world mean staying as far away as possible of this kind of parties and the haughty Royal asses that it involve."

He nodded grinning even more. "Fair enough. Tell me something, since you don't have anything planed tonight would you accept to take a drink with me after my shift?"

"Nope." I simply said

"It's only a drink" he said insisting still not moving from his spot. "No string attached."

"Well thanks but no thanks."

"At least tell me your name."

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

His smile returned. Apparently he was the kind to enjoy my attitude…masochist!

"Steffen," he said bowing slightly.

"Rose" I said with a small nod.

"Rose…" he repeated in a breath.

"Rose? Rose is that you?" I heard Christian calling from the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah I'm here" I said still looking at Steffen.

"What are you doing here?" He asked walking out, sounding slightly annoyed. "Are you sulking?" He wondered wanting to sound teasing but I could hear the real concern in his voice.

"No I was talking to--" I turned to the spot were Steffen was but he wasn't here anymore. I just at the time to see the service door close. "Myself" I said giving my best goofy smile to Christian.

"Uh huh…" He said looking at me with reprobation. Christian and I became close friend in the past 2 years, especially after what we had to face together last year. A new war against Strigoi…yet again. My neck started to tickle at my second big battle tattoo

"What are you doing here anyways? I though you would be christening the room with Lissa now."

He laughed. "I wish but no she is frenetically getting ready for tonight banquet."

I nodded.

"You are going right?"

I snorted "Ummm have you met me?"

"What? Big Rose Hathaway is just too good for that?"

"You know it's not that!" I said sighing. "I never liked all these games and protocol crap and you know it."

"It has nothing to do with the fact that the room will be full of Royal Moroi."

"I 'nothing' them" I said shrugging. "None of them are worth my time well, " I winked at him. "Except you and Lissa of course."

"Of course!" He walked up to stand beside me and took my hand. "Moroi, dhampir or even human, Royal or even homeless it doesn't matter you just… you just need to move on now." He squeezed my hand. "Even If it's a small step in that direction it will be something. You know the first step, however small, is the hardest of all."

"You know, you are probably the only person on earth that could get away with telling me that. You were there…you saw it all."

"I was there and I told you I would be here for you whenever you need me and right now you need me consciously or not."

I smiled and hugged him. It all happened about 18 months ago, I was guarding Lissa for about 6 months when the Queen decided to take us to a ski resort for the Christmas holidays. What she didn't expect was for the Strigoi to be aware of that and to be lurking with one particular Strigoi in charge of the attack, the love of my life, Dimitri Belikov.

When the attack started Xavier managed to get most of the Moroi in the chapel by the resort and Christian and I, along with other guardians, fought. We fought like no tomorrow. We were halfway through the woods when Dimitri somehow appeared right before my eyes. I couldn't remember now if it was chance, or maybe god who helped me but I managed to stake him without hesitation after that Christian, who was already so weak from fighting, managed to set his hand on fire.

When Dimitri fell on the floor, the stake still secured in his chest, I thought I almost heard my heart breaking. He whispered a faint thank you before dying.

I stayed kneeled beside his body till the sun came up washing the rest of him away. I cried silently the whole time and Christian stayed with me silently leaning against a tree just being there.

Once the sun burnt Dimitri's remains I lost it completely. I knew that I had lost him, I realized that more than 8 months ago but it still hurt like hell. Christian kneeled beside me, holding me tight while I cried.

After that, I closed myself for 3 days in a room and I didn't want to see anybody but Christian stayed with me ignoring my complained and threats, and I maybe still didn't admit it, but I didn't think I would have made it out of that room without him by my side.

"I know I do:" I said with a smile.

"Adrian is--"

"Please Christian, it has nothing to do with Ivashkov. We're friends." I said locking eyes with him.

Christian snorted, "you can't lie to me Rose Hathaway but nice try. I don't know why you won't forgive him. He didn't--"

"Please, just…don't" I said knowing that I was only a step away from snapping at him. "He didn't do anything wrong and we both know that. Lets leave it to that."

"Well he is under the impression that--"

"Whatever he thinks I'm thinking is no concern of mine" I said and I couldn't help the frosty edge in my voice.

"And you are not mad uh?" He shook his head. "Listen Rose I really think that--"

"I'm meeting a guy tonight." I blurted out.

"Right!" Christian rolled his eyes. "You didn't date anyone for more than two years and now you are here what," he quickly looked at his watch "1 hour and you met a guy?"

"You know I can't lie to you right? A guy invited me for a drink."

"And you said yeah?"

I nodded. "I'll go and have this drink with him." _If I ever see him again _I added to myself. "Why were you looking for anyways?"

"I…" He shook his head. "It's not that important, we'll talk later okay? Lissa is probably looking for me."

"See you later."

I concentrated back on the Swiss countryside.

"I'm glad you changed your mind." Said Steffen from behind me.

"Were you spying on me?" I asked but I wasn't even mad, I just didn't care enough to get mad.

"I need to know who I'm chatting to and you didn't seem that receptive." He grinned. "Rose Hathaway, I've heard a lot about you."

"No surprises there. What did you hear? Some bad stuff? Some terrible stuff?"

He smiled again walking closer and when I saw his eyes and I was like hypnotized. They were violet and it might sound strange but it was so beautiful, in total accordance with his features. It was probably some contacts but it was nice, atypical.

"I actually liked everything I heard, you are quite a fighter aren't you? You even saved our Queen that was…something."

I shrugged and felt my tattoo tickled like each time that my final battle against Dimitri was mentioned.

"So anyways I have to go get ready for work but for our drink I think--"

"Yeah about that-" I started

"You wouldn't want to lie to your friends would you?"

I sighed in rendition and stared at him in silent. I thought that I might be able to stare in his eyes for hours.

"Good." He pointed to something on his right, "this is the greenhouse, meet me there just before sunrise."

I pursed my lips, I didn't like being caught in my own lies.

"It's just a drink guardian nothing more, plus you could probably kill me without breaking a sweat."

I couldn't help but grin he said exactly what I needed to put me at ease. "I surely could." I nodded.

"I'll see you later." He said walking backward to the service door.

"That's…interesting." I said keeping my eyes lock on the closed door.

When I joined him that night at the greenhouse I was not even sure I would stay, I changed my mind about joining him at least 20 times but he was intriguing, there was something about him, something I really could put my finger on but I felt like I had to know him.

"Hello?" I tried in the far too silent greenhouse. Part of me wished he forgot so I had an excuse not to see him again.

"In here!" I heard his voice coming from the left.

I found him sitting on a beautiful iron craved bench and he had both champagne and fruit juice on a small table in front on him.

"I didn't know if you would go for alcohol or not" he said gesturing to the table with a million dollar smile.

I smiled detailing him. He was wearing a pair of tuxedo pants with a white button down shirt with two buttons open. The white of his shirt made his violet eyes even more eerie.

"Juice would be just fine." I said sitting down beside him but still at a safe distance.

"That's what I thought" he said laughing serving me a glass of peach juice.

"So Rose Hathaway, are you enjoying your time here so far?" He asked taking a flute of champagne.

I laughed. "Well I didn't run into any pompous royal so far, so yeah I'm peachy."

"The rumors are true then…" he nodded "Except from the princess Dragomir and Christian Ozera you're keeping your distance with the Royals. What did those monsters do to you Rose?"

He probably saw the amusement leave my face. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have" he said apologetically.

I shrugged dismissively but it was still fresh in my mind.

_It all happened about 6 months ago. I had killed Dimitri 3 months prior and it was still very hard for me to cope but Adrian was always there supporting me so, one afternoon as we were watching a movie, he kissed me and I let him kiss me, kissing him back gently but it didn't feel right. I thought that maybe if I tried harder, maybe it would work but as he slide his hands under my shirt I realized I couldn't do it, not yet at least so I pushed him away gently, yet strongly off of me. _

_We had an argument about how I needed to move on that Dimitri had been gone for even longer than I was with him and it hurt me that he couldn't understand the force of my feelings. I shoved him hard and left the room._

_As the hours passed I started to feel guilty, I shouldn't have reacted so strongly. Adrian had been there for me every step of the way, waiting for me to be ready to give him a fair chance. I decided to go and apologize, maybe I could try harder. I used, for the first time, the key of his room he gave me. I always refused to use it, thinking it was like accepting the status I had in his life but maybe it was time. _

_When I walked in the bedroom I felt sick. I was so shocked I couldn't even move, not even blink. _

_Adrian was completely naked in bed with an equally naked dhampir girl straddling him. I was maybe no expert but the way she was wiggling and the noises they were making made things pretty clear but the worse part was that Adrian had his fangs buried on that girl neck, drinking from her while having sex! He was doing the blood whore thing!_

_At this instant something broke inside me, I knew that I would never see Adrian the same way ever again. I was not even sure I could even speak to him ever again._

_I was no fool I knew Adrian was a player before, I knew he probably did kinky stuff with blood whores before but it was before me! I thought he changed and now… now I had this image in my head. _

_He locked eyes with me and they widen with surprised. He immediately let go of her neck and seeing the blood coloring his bottom lip made me physically sick. I just threw the keys toward them and ran away for that room as fast as I could. _

_Adrian found me less than 20 minutes later in the Court chapel. I did steal this habit from Dimitri. Maybe it made me closer to him on a certain level, but being there calmed me down. He apologized professedly but I told him he had nothing to apologize about, that we were not together and probably never would be. I was angry but I knew I had no right to be so I kept it hidden, pretending. _

Now, I was not angry anymore but something broke on that day and I knew that I would never see him the same ever again.

"Nobody did anything to me" I said a bit harsher than I intended to.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise and his eerie mesmerizing violet eyes detailed me like if he was trying to read me.

"It's not that I hate them" I said sincerely. "I just… I just rather not spend more time with them than necessary"

"It's nice to be with someone who is not trying to get introduced to the prince."

"Awww it sucks to be you" I said sarcastically.

"It really do sometime". He said and I saw his eyes getting serious.

"But you know it has to suck to be him sometimes too." I said trying to cheer him up not even sure why I bothered.

"Oh my, are you defending a Royal?"

I smiled rolling my eyes. "Well…" I shrugged. "If a girl likes you, you know it's for you. Because she might think you are cute, or charming or funny or even smart."

"Well I'm all the above."

"You're delusional too I see" I grinned. "But for the Prince? He can't be sure. The girl can like him for him but also for his name, connections and money and I think that's sad."

"It is sad" he agreed serious once again.

After that we talked for hours. The greenhouse was made of a special type of glass, a high protection against UVA and UVB making it possible for a Moroi to be in the sun and Steffen was absolutely gorgeous in the sun. His face seemed to have been craved by some Greek sculptor, He didn't have any flaw and I spent hours to try to find one on his face.

"We better go to bed. You probably work in the morning and the sun is already high in the sky."

He looked at his watch. "WOW! Already middle of the night."

"Yeah the time goes faster when we have fun" I said joking but he didn't take it as a joke.

"It's true. I enjoyed our time together what about tonight? Same place same time?"

"I'd love to" I said even surprising myself but it was true I was getting to know him and I liked what I was discovering.

"Tonight then?" He asked as we both stood up moving on the spot awkwardly.

"Tonight" I confirmed with a nod and a small smile before hurrying to my room thanking the sky I was in holidays.

For next two weeks. we met every night, same time same place talking half the night about our lives. We surprisingly had a lot more in common than I could have suspected. He also felt stuck in his job. It was what his family raised him to be and since his father passed away he felt like he was responsible. I knew how it felt to be frustrated, to have your whole future figured it out, and there was even a time it bothered me, but once I had lost Dimitri I was rather happy to have this future, this role to hold on to.

"So what did you do today?" He asked me like every night. He brought a blanket this time and we were lying side by side. He was doodling some imaginary patterns with his fingers on my arm. He didn't even try to kiss me yet and maybe he wouldn't. What if he was only looking for a friend? I shamefully had to admit that the thought saddened me.

"I helped to organize a very cheesie yet romantic marriage proposal." I said smiling.

"Really?" He asked and I could hear the smile in his voice. "I thought that you hated and I'm quoting all the _'lovey-dovey romantic crap.' _"

I shrugged "I do but I owe Christian and Lissa that much. If they can have their happy ending, I'm all for it."

Christian asked me to prepare the room for him as they were busy with the Prince. He was going to ask her to marry him that night after dinner. I wanted them happy and they helped me enough so I didn't have to show up to any dinners or parties organized by the Prince. They really let me spent my holidays the way I wanted to.

Moreover I knew they noticed the change in attitude and they suspected I met someone but surprisingly enough they didn't even mention it. I knew that because I picked it directly out of Lissa's head and I had to admit I appreciated their consideration far more than they could even think.

"So how did you organized that?" He asked now intertwining his fingers with mine. "Oh just so you know, I intend to try and kiss you before the end of our date" he said in an even voice like a news reporter making me laugh.

"Thank you for warning me, I'll be on my guards." I said trying to sound teasing but I couldn't help to imagine how his lips would feel on mine. I didn't know why but I was sure Steffen was a divine kisser. His mouth was a real invitation to kiss and he was a lot older than me. By certain aspects, our moments together reminded me of the discussions I used to have with Dimitri and, each time I thought about that, my stomach flip-flopped painfully.

I was 20 and Steffen just turned 28 just like the Prince. That's how he became his adviser in the first place. They probably met at school but it was a part of his life that Steffen was very reluctant to explore and I tried to respect that. We all had our painful wounds.

Steffen switched on his side and inched closer so his face was above mine.

"You know I think I gave you enough time to run away if you wanted to" he said huskily locking eyes on my lip.

''Yeah I think you did give me a fair warning" I said quickly licking my bottom lip in anticipation.

Steffen leaned down very slowly and gently brush his lips against mine. They were even softer than I thought they were.

My lips parted slightly as I let out a breath and that was when he kissed me and I knew I was wrong before. Maybe I was ready to be with someone because this kiss felt right, so right it made me shiver.

I wrapped my arms around his neck not wanted to let go. I wanted him to kiss me all night long.

When we parted breathless he kept his face down brushing my cheek with his lips.

"Can you feel my heart beating frenetically?" He whispered against my skin.

"I can't, mine is beating so fast too." I said eyes closed.

"That's good to know" he whispered trailing his lips from my cheek back to my lips. "A kiss never had this effect on me before" he said before giving me a soft chaste kiss.

I buried my fingers in his thick and soft golden brown hair. "So kiss me again." I said still breathless.

After that night we were even more eager for the night to come knowing we would be together. I even cried with happiness when Lissa told me that she would be staying two more weeks because she was helping the Prince to work on a project of Law that he intended to present to the Queen council at the end of the summer.

I hadn't even meet the prince yet and I knew it was making Steffen happy that I was with him just because of who he was and not because who he could introduce me to. I didn't know much about the Prince Mathis Badica but I knew he was on the list of the five possible successors of the Queen and that he was very young yet scarily powerful and impressive.

We shared even more after that. I even managed to mention Dimitri to him. How sometime I had the feeling that I failed him, let him down to some extend and I felt grateful that he didn't comment. Steffen just held me tight as we laid on the blanket in the greenhouse that we called now our 'Little Heaven' since it was the place where we could be who we really were, together.

Steffen even showed me his vulnerabilities, making me like him even more. He told me he was scared to fail and let his family down, that he was fed up to keep his smug, detached and cold mask all day long when he only wanted to be the real him, the one he was with me

"I think the real you is amazing Steffen, you shouldn't feel like you have to hide. I…" I crawled up kissing his jaw line. "I'll take the real Steffen over any Royal any day" I said locking eyes to show him how much I meant that.

"If only it could be true" he whispered looking away and the sadness I could read on his face told me not to push it out of him, it would come out in due time.

* * *

I was sullen as I walked down the path to meet Steffen at the greenhouse. We were going back to the Court in two days, back to my duty, to the Queen, to an insisting Adrian and what really bothered me was that I would have to say goodbye to Steffen and it broke my heart. We had spent almost every night together during the past six weeks and it hurt. It hurt much more that I thought it would to realize it was the end of it. As I joined him on the plaid, the pain on his face showed me that he was feeling the same.

"I don't want you to go Rose" he said as I laid down beside him, the cheek on his chest.

"I don't want to go" I whispered back realizing how true it was.

"Maybe I can manage to make the princess stay a bit longer" he said caressing my hair. "I already managed to keep you two weeks more" he added like nothing.

I smile even if he couldn't see it. I was so pleased that he had managed to sweet talk the Prince into convincing Lissa to stay a while longer.

I shook my head against his chest. "It's not that simple, Lissa has other obligations and I have my life as a guardian to get back to. I…" I sighed. "We'll have to part anyways, the more we wait, the more it'll hurt."

"It hurts pretty bad already" he whispered so low that I was sure it was directed to himself.

I wiggled out of his arms and stood up.

"Where are you going?" He asked sitting down.

I outstretched my hand. "Come with me." I said as my heart started to beat faster in my chest.

As we walked to my room part of me knew that it was a mistake. I was leaving in two days and I'll probably never see him again and here I was about to take this relationship a step further.

"So why did you take me here?" He asked joking looking around my room.

I could see by his lay back attitude that he certainly didn't expect what I was about to do.

"And I thought you were smart!" I said trying to tease but I was far too nervous to sound convincing. "You are asking why a girl took you in her room?"

"Yeah well--" He turned around to face me eyes wide. "Are you kidding?"

I shook my head negatively. I walked up to him and slide my hands under his shirt, pulling it up.

"Rose we need to talk" he said grabbing my wrists.

"No we don't. Not tonight please. Lets just…lets just do what we're both dying to do."

"Rose…" He whispered.

"Tomorrow" I said pulling him to me, kissing him feverously.

He didn't resist anymore and helped me get him out of his clothes before he started to get me out of mine as eagerly.

Steffen laid me on the bed and feeling his body as closed of mine made me blush.

"Rose?" He frowned slightly trying to pull away but I managed to wrap one of my leg around his waist before he could move. "Is it…Is it your first time?"

"Pffff…No" I said trying to sound as detached as I could but I knew he would notice my inexperience soon enough. It was not the one and single time I had sex with Dimitri that was making me an expert. Hell I had sex once almost 3 years ago.

Steffen was still staring at me one eyebrow shot up in incredulity meaning _'try-again-I-don't-buy-it'._

"It's not!" I said trying to sound offended. "It's my...second time" I mumbled.

"Rose it's--" he tried to get of my grip. "I rather we talk before I mean-"

"No, I know I'm leaving. I know we might never see each other again but I want to do it with you, I want to be with you Steffen. I…I just do." I reached to open the drawer and took out a condom that I 'borrowed' from Christian and Lissa's room . "It's not an impulse, I thought this through and I just want to be with you."

Steffen looked at me for a couple of seconds before crashing his lips on mine resting his hand on my hip.

He gave me butterfly kisses all over the face making me smile, but when he started kissing down my neck, I felt one of his fang scrap my jugular making me tense instantaneously bringing back flashes of Adrian treating that dhampir girl like his blood whore. The question that remained was, in the heat of the moment, would I stop him from taking my blood? Unlikely. But it would break my heart in the morning to realize he was seeing me that way. Because how hard as it was to admit it Steffen meant a lot to me, enough to hurt me deeply.

Steffen probably knew me a lot better than I thought he did because he stopped kissing me, moving his head back a little to lock eyes with me.

He brought his hand to my cheek and gently brushed my cheekbone with the pad of his thumb.

"You can relax" he whispered never letting go of my eyes. "I would never do that to you, I could never minimize what we have, what I feel, by doing that to you Rose. You have to believe me, you mean too much to me."

I was speechless he said exactly what I needed to hear, he really knew me. I brought my hand to his cheek and cupped it softly never breaking eye contact.

"Make love to me" I said in a breath even more sure now than I was half an hour ago

I didn't regret making love with him because he was soft, caring and giving. I enjoyed every minute of it.

As I fell asleep securely in his arms with him spooning me while kissing the back of neck tenderly I had the terrifying thought that I wouldn't mind falling asleep in his arms for the rest of my life.

When I woke up, I found a little note on the pillow.

_I had to go. The party tonight is major, but it killed me to walk away seeing you so peacefully asleep. _

_Last night was unbelievable and unforgettable_

_I'll see you tonight, come please, for me._

_S_

I sighed with content steering in the bed and I couldn't help the wide smile to spread on my face. It had been so long since I smiled like that, I didn't even remember when the last time was but it felt good.

I jumped into a shower and enjoyed the hot water on my sore muscles. Maybe last night was a bit more intense and passionate than I thought.

As soon as I got out of the shower I heard a light knock at the door. I smile as, based on the little waves of excitement, I knew it was Lissa.

"What's up girly?" I asked opening the door.

"I will never be able to sneak up on you." She said with a slightly pout.

I winked and let her in.

"You are so cheery I haven't seen you like that in so long. Why--" She stopped dead seeing the rumpled bed and turned to me with wide eyes.

I could feel her putting the pieces together but she restrained herself for asking anything. I had seen in her head that she wanted to harass me to know who was my secret friend but Christian stopped her, telling her that I would talk when I was ready and that they should simply enjoy seeing me that happy.

I was very grateful to Christian because it was true what Steffen and I had was part of my 'Little Heaven', a little world that only us shared.

"I saw the Prince this morning" said Lissa finally concentrating on me again. "He said that as my guardian he really expect to meet you tonight, since it might be the last change he'll get as we are leaving tomorrow."

My heart sank. I knew I would leave Steffen tomorrow but it hurt to be reminded of that.

I nodded, "And I'll introduce you to Steffen tonight" I said with a wink and I could feel Lissa literally marveling even if she was trying to keep her face blank.

Lissa and Christian ordered me a beautiful silky red dress as a surprise knowing that I would have to, at least, go to the last ball before our departure.

I took extra care of my appearance tonight. Steffen only saw me in plain jeans and shirt with no make up. I really wanted to be beautiful for him tonight, so he would keep that last image of me.

The dress was sober yet clutching last a second skin on all the right places. It wasn't too short, just above the knees, and the fact that it was strapless gave me a nice cleavage.

I wore my hair down. slightly wavy, I also kept the make up light. I just slide into my black stiletto when Eddie knocked on my door.

"It's your escort Miss Hathaway" he said teasing from behind the door.

"How did I get that lucky?" I asked opening the door.

"It helps that you're hot." He said with a wink.

When we made it to the main hall I quickly scanned the room but Steffen wasn't there yet.

"No lover boy?" Asked Eddie nudging me playfully.

"Not yet" I said nudging him back.

We started to talk about the new living arrangement the Queen was instating for next year when I felt Lissa's hand on my shoulder.

"Rose let me introduce you to Prince Mathis Badica."

I turned around with a smile but I think all the color drained from my face when I locked eyes with a pair of so familiar violet eyes.

"Prince Badica this is my guardian, Rose." Said Lissa apparently oblivious to my shock.

"It's a pleasure" said Mathis or rather Steffen taking my hand.

"No" I whispered taking my hand off his grip.

"Rose!" Hissed Lissa.

Mathis kept his eyes locked on me. "My name is Mathis Steffen Badica" he said calmly taking a step forward.

"No" I repeated a bit louder getting some questioning glances from the people around us. I was doing my best to contain my tears. He abused me! He lied to me all along, and stupid as I was I didn't even see it coming.

"Rose please, lets talk about it" he said begging reaching for my hand. I took two steps back crashing into Eddies' chest. He rested his hands on my shoulders to steady me.

Lissa was looking at us with confusion.

"Steffen…" I shook my head not able to contained my tears any longed as one tear fall quietly down my cheek.

I could feel the wave of comprehension coming from Lissa and Christian murderous glance directed to the Prince led me to think he understood too.

"I've got to go" I said barely louder than a whisper before leaving the room as fast as I could without attracting attention. However, as soon as I was out of view, I took my shoes off and ran to the guardians quarters. I knew the code to open Eddies' digital door and I crashed on his bed in tears. I knew that nobody would come to find me here, not even Eddie who would probably be looking for me with the others.

When I made it back to my room hours later. I was so angry and felt so betrayed that I could have killed anyone getting on my way. My Steffen turned out to be Prince Mathis Badica! He was in the top five in the replacement of the Queen. They were all the same, those Royal Moroi! Only good to lie, cheat and deceive.

There was a red rose on my door with a note. I grabbed it forcefully damaging the flower and read the note.

_Meet me in our 'Little Heaven' please. We need to talk this through. Mathis. _

I snorted. "Like that's gonna happen" I whispered to myself crumpling the note into a ball.

I walked into the room feeling the wall for the light switch. That was one of the down points of the rooms created for Moroi. No windows meant pure darkness.

"I knew you wouldn't come." Said a voice that, I hated to admit, I knew by heart. Steffen or rather Mathis Badica.

I froze for a second before switching the light on.

He was on my bed, with his hands behind his neck. He was not even looking at me, he was just staring at the ceiling.

There were a small, yet powerful, part of me that wanted to join him. I leaned against the wall.

"So why did you even bother?"

"I couldn't help but hope you would go." He took a deep breath still looking away. "It meant there still was some hope for us." I could hear the underlying sadness in his voice.

I couldn't help the humorless laugh to escape. "There were no hope anyways." I shook my head and looked away. "It's okay you banged the dhampir, you won."

"It's not like that!" He said jumping from the bed to face me. "Don't put dirt on what he have! That's not right." He added and I could hear his voice shaking under the emotion.

I didn't want to lock eyes with his beautiful violets one that I just came to love so much because even if I hated myself for that, I had to admit that, in the last 8 weeks, I did fall in love with him and I couldn't do anything about that.

"You and I have nothing Mathis" I said walking past him. "I _**HAD**_ something with Steffen but he is no more."

"I'm here" he said sliding back in front of me. "I maybe gave you a fake name but all the rest, everything we shared, all the thing I confided to you, were true! You know me better than anyone else, you know all my fears, all my secrets…all my doubts. And last night, last night I wanted to tell you the truth but you said it could wait."

That angered me to no end. "You better leave" I said pointing to the door. "It might be your 'house' but it's still my room, till tomorrow at least."

"No" he said crossing his arms on his chest.

I started to walked to the door ready to leave but I turned around and walked back to face him. I was stupid but I just couldn't let him win.

"And maybe I shushed you last night. Maybe you wanted to tell me who you were but you had more than 40 nights to do that! I mean how hard was it to say during one of those nights we spent together _'oh by the way Rose, I'm the Prince._'?"

"You would have walked way." He said simply.

I snorted "yeah because now it's ending soooo well."

"I…" he ran his hand through his hair. "At first I just thought it would be fun to get to know someone who didn't know who I was. I got intrigued, you were so captivating and then, then I was scared to tell you because I knew how much you hated Royals and I didn't want you to walk away."

"Yeah? Well watch me!" I said spinning around to leave the room.

"And after that I couldn't tell you because I couldn't bare to lose you since I realized I had fallen in love with you."

I froze and slowly turned around. "Please…please don't say that." I said almost begging.

"But it's true Rose, I… I was not looking for love believe me but I found it with you and I was terrified. Terrified to lose you and see you walk away because, in my 28 years nobody ever meant as much to me than you. I'm not a kid anymore, I'm not driven by lust or my hormones. I'm a man, a man who knows how he feels and I love you Rose."

I closed my eyes letting some quiet tears fall down my cheeks. Of everything he could have said, of everything at all, I never expected him to love me. I thought he cared, hell, I knew he cared but I never thought he could love me. I could see in his violet eyes that he meant it and it was the only thing that could make my will crumble.

"Don't say that…" I whispered keeping my eyes closed. "Just…don't"

"Why?" He whispered and he was probably standing just in front of me as I could feel his warm breath on my face.

I slowly opened my eyes and got lost in his deep violet eyes. "Because, if you say you love me, I'll have to tell you that I love you too and that I don't care if your name is Mathis, Steffen or even Pinocchio. I love you… just the man who I spent so many nights talking to about anything and---"

His lips crashed on mine forcefully.

"I love you," he pecked my lips, "so much" He kissed me again.

"I love you too" I said wrapping my arms around his waist. "Even if it angers me to."

"I would never hurt you Rose" he whispered against my lips. "I'll never let you down just trust me. I never meant to play you."

"That's good because…I'm more fragile than it seems." I whispered burying my face in his neck taking his sent in.

"You are maybe a guardian but I'll be the guardian of your heart. I'll guard it with my life Rose" he said burying his face in my hair. "It will never get abused again, I'll love you till the end."

"Kiss me" I whispered kissing his neck.

He reached for my face and secured my face between his hands. "You are the love of my life and I don't care if I've only met you 6 weeks ago I just know we're meant to be, I knew it since our first night." He said before kissing me passionately.


	8. AN Poll

**Author Note: **

Okay guys lots of you apparently love Mathis ( AKA Steffen) Badica so I was wondering what do you want to read most (right now)? More futures possible OR some important moments in Rose and Mathis lives??

I posted a poll on my profile to find out what you wanted to read the most.

I'll will leave it till Friday so…next chapter(s) is/are in your hands =D

Steffy


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N: **Hey guys!!

So the poll clearly showed that you wanted another possible future so here it goes and since it's almost Christmas I set the scene there.

Oh just so you know little spoiler… Next 'future' will involve our beloved kick ass guardian Dimitri.

Well don't forget to review and tell me what you think.

_P.S:_ don't forget I don't have a beta so don't be too harsh. The parts in Italic are the future.

_P.S 1:_ Disclaimer, I don't own Vampire Academy or any of its characters, if I did I would _**SOOOO**_ keep Dimka, Adrian and Christian for myself =D

_____

"I really wanted to know who managed to give me 2 kids!" I said with a slight pout as Agate and I appeared in a vast yard covered with snow.

"I told you, I can't give too much away with the risk to permanently damage one or all the futures ahead."

"Humpf!" I simply said as a childish sign of discontent while crossing my arms on my chest.

Agate was looking at me from the corner of her eyes with the ghost of a smile on her face. She apparently liked my _smartassness_…what a fool.

"Where are we? **WHEN** are we? Unless…" I shot her my best death glare but she was clearly not impressed. "You can't tell me." I added with heavy sarcasm.

She chuckled. "I can tell you that much. We're at the Court, behind the living quarters."

"Oh right!" I didn't know that part of the Court, butut I should have actually. I could recognize the top of the red building where the Queen and Parliament held their meetings.

"As for when we are, I can tell you that. We're December 24th 2012," she pointed to the 2 approaching forms. "The Rose in front of you is 21."

I simply nodded concentrating on the scene in front of me.

"_So are you satisfied with the Christmas presents you picked or are you having second thoughts?" Asked Christian intertwining his arm with mine. _

_Apparently in this future we became close friend as my feelings for him were deep almost as much as if he was my brother. _

"_No this year I think I'm good." I said laughing nudging him playfully. _

"_Can I guess?" He asked sticking his tongue out. _

"_You can try!" I teased. _

"_Okay so tonight it's the big family reunion and the presents are going to be open in front of everybody."_

"_Okay…" I said confused. Tonight was the family Christmas party which meant that our unusual yet very close and loving family would join in a private hall here at the Court and celebrate together. There will be my mother and father, Tasha Ozera and of course Adrian, Lissa, Christian, Eddie and his girlfriend Mia._

"_It means that you can't give anything naughty…at least not in the public eyes." _

"_Ooo good deduction Holmes." I winked. _

"_Elementary my dear Watson!" _

"_So tell me… Nancy Drew, What are your guesses?"_

"_Well for your father maybe a book called 'how to extend your mobster territory' or 'How to physically harm people without leaving marks'"_

"_Ahahaha aren't you precious!" I said nudging him a bit harder. I actually loved my dad now. He was a full part of my life. "No but I bought you the 'how survive when you're a smart mouth moron'!"_

"_Oh you've been published then?! Congratulation!" He grinned. _

_I tried to play offended but I just burst into laugher. "You're some piece of work do you know that?"_

"_Look who's talking! So for Adrian… I'm pretty sure that what you will give him won't be opened in public" he said wiggling his eyebrows. _

_I stopped walking and looked at him agape. "I can't even believe you said that!'_

"_What? Am I wrong? Don't you both like that VERY much, and before you reply, we shared a wall last summer remember."_

"_I…" I blushed. "Oh just shut up!" I snapped nudging him as we resumed our walk._

"So it seems like I'm dating Adrian in that future." I said to Agate.

"Who said you weren't a genius?"

"Oh a sarcastic Angel?? Nice!" I said appreciatively with a grin.

"_No but seriously, what did you bought?"_

"_You'll see little Jedi…you'll see". I said winking sticking my tongue out. _

I watch the future me and Christian walk in a building before concentrating my attention on Agate again.

"What happened to Dimitri in this future?"

She looked at me silently for a couple of second. Probably considering if she could answer me. "He is gone" she said quietly.

"Did I--" I started to asked if I was the one killing him but I just couldn't finish my sentence.

Agate looked sadden but shook her head. "No it wasn't you."

I nodded somehow relieved for not being the hand of death.

"Well let's go to the party" she said snapping her fingers.

We appeared in the middle of a room full, Adrian had his arm wrapped lovingly around my waist and we were talking to my mother and father. Apparently my mom was not bursting a vein.

"Apparently they accepted us." I said surprised.

"Give them some credit Rose. They love you much more than you think."

_I pulled Adrian away laughing. "What were you talking about with my father before?" I asked with a small smile intertwining our fingers. _

_He kissed me. "Don't you trust me my lil'dhampir?" _

"_You know I do but when the two men I love the most discuss behind my back." I grimaced. "You are bad influence one on the other." _

_Adrian snorted. "Anyways my Rose I didn't forget to get you a Christmas present it's just… I can't give it to you here." _

_I laughed. "Let me guess…Naughty, dirty lingerie?" _

"_You know me so well" he said grinning. _

"_Well since you gave __**ME**__ naughty lingerie for __**YOUR**__ birthday…" I laugh "I know what to expect from you." _

"_But you wouldn't want me any other way." He said kissing the tip of my nose._

"_No I wouldn't." I said squeezing his hand. I could feel all the love I had for him. _

"_And I know I also gave you naughty lingerie for your birthday but it was during our trip to Paris…Paris and lingerie go together." _

"_Yeah but it doesn't count, Paris was the present." _

"_For you maybe." He said wiggling his eyebrows making me laugh._

"That's strange you know." I said to Agate keeping my eyes lock on the loving and happy couple.

"What is?"

"I never thought that I could feel that way. Not after Dimitri… I can feel it's different but…" I stopped to think, looking down.

"Just as powerful?"

"Yeah" I frowned. "It's weird right?"

"No not really. I'm glad you understand that Rose. It's not because it's different that it's not as powerful. No love story is the same and it's not because you lost someone you love that you can't continue and love someone else."

"I know that!" I snapped because I could remember my words perfectly, as it was yesterday when I said to Abe: _'I'm never going to be involved with anyone again. Not after Dimitri'_.

"Well that's good to know because when you were on that roof top half drunk with a bottle of Vodka in your hand… it surely didn't look like it."

I simply shrugged deciding to ignore her comment, mainly because I didn't have anything to retort…It sucks that you couldn't lie to Angels!

"But…Where is Adrian?" I asked surprised. I talked to Agate for like five minutes leaving my future lovey-dovey self with Adrian and now I was talking to Lissa thanking her for the beautiful cashmere pashmina she jut gave me.

"_Adrian look how--" I looked around frowning. "Does anyone know where my boyfriend went?" I asked teasing but I couldn't fool…well myself! I could read the real wonder on my own face. _

"_I was talking to you." Said Lissa looking around. _

"She is hiding something" I said pointing to her.

Agate just smiled but stayed silent.

_I walked to my father who was talking with my mother and Tasha, but the way he was standing, beside my mother gave it away, well to me at least. They were secretly dating that was sure. I stood like that with Dimitri too many time before for not being able to recognize it. _

"_Have you seen Adrian?" _

_My father nodded. "Yeah he looked a little green, probably didn't like the Raki so much." _

"_Dad!" I said slapping his arm. "I told you he was bad influence" I said to my mom who couldn't conceal her smile even if she was trying hard._

"_He is 25 Rose" said my father seriously but I could see the amusement in his eyes. "If the man can't handle a glass of our famous drink…" he shrugged. "He is maybe not man enough." _

"_He is plenty male believe me!" I snapped, regretting it straight away. Did I just said that? To my parents?!! Damn it Rose think before talking!!_

_The three of them were looking at me questionably as I was crimson red now. _

"_Anyways…" I said burring my hands deep in my pockets trying to give me some confidence I was far from feeling. "Do you know where he went?"_

"_He was not feeling that great so he went back to his room." Said my father. _

_I looked clearly sadden by that. "Why didn't he tell me?"_

"_He probably didn't want to worry you, he said you should have fun and that he'll see you later." Added my dad patting my arm. _

"_I'm just going to check on him, I'll be back later" _

"_Sure you will" my dad mumbled making my mom laugh. _

"Can I follow?" I asked to Agate pointing at myself leaving the room.

"Be my guest." She said gesturing me forward.

We walked silently to the guest building. I took a magnetic key card to open the door.

_The room was dark. _

"_Adrian? Adrian baby are you here?" I asked as the worry increased. I was already cursing my dad about giving Adrian that glass of Raki. _

_The living room was dead quiet but I heard a faint noise coming from the bedroom. _

"_Poor baby…" I whispered before opening the door gasping. _

_The room was covered with red rose petals, scented candles and the song 'We belong together' by Gavin Degraw was playing in the background. _

_It was our song, the song he sang to me before we got physical for the first time. _

"_Adrian? Come on show yourself!" I said not able to conceal the relief and amusement in my voice. I enjoyed his surprises. He had me now, body and soul, but he kept showing me how much he loved me._

_I looked at the bed and saw the long flat box with the red tag of the expensive lingerie shop where Adrian bought all my lingerie._

"_I found the box!!" I said laughing. "And if you don't come out in the next 5 minutes I won't wear it tonight." _

_I shook my head still laughing knowing that curiosity would have the best of me anyways._

_As soon as I lifted the lid of the box both versions of myself gasped at the same time. I expected to find some red silk in the box, but what was resting in the middle of the box, was the biggest, most beautiful and probably insanely expensive diamond ring I had ever seen. _

"_Merry Christmas my Rose." Said Adrian softly standing behind me. I was so lost in the contemplation of the ring that I didn't even hear him approach. _

"Is he doing what I think he is doing?" I asked to Agate.

"I think so" she chuckled.

"Oooo it's getting interesting!!" I said sitting on the desk.

_I swirled around, Adrian wrapped one of his arm around my waist. "What--what are you doing?" I asked, my emotions all over the place. _

_Adrian brought his free hand to my face and started to stroke my cheek lovingly, keeping his eyes on mine. "We've been dating for a bit more than two years now Rose and…and I love you even more today than I did when we started dating. I'm…I want us to be together forever and I want, I hope you will want that to. I want you to be my wife Rose, I think I wanted that since the first time your lips touched mine." _

"_But what about your family? What about your Aunt?" I asked worried about him. _

"_What about them?" He asked apparently confused. _

"_They maybe tolerate us because they think it's just a phase but a wedding…" I shook my head. "That's a different story! They'll never agree to that! It's risky for you." _

_Adrian laughed softly and brushed my lips with his. "It doesn't matter what they think Rose. You…" he took a deep breath and tightened his grip around my waist. "I don't care about what people will say. They can say I betrayed my parents, dishonored my rank." He shrugged slightly. "You don't get it my Rose, maybe with them, with my name and connections, I was someone, but--but without you I'm nothing. I'm living my life like I want to, I'm free! They are simply jealous that I've found what they are all dying to find." _

"_And what is that?" I asked wrapping my arms around his waist doing my best to fight the tears. _

"_A love worth die for." He said with so much love and sincerity that I couldn't help it any longer and crashed my lips on his. _

_Once we broke our kiss breathless, Adrian rested his forehead against mine. _

"_I love you so much Rose." _

"_I love you too." _

_He let go of his grip around my waist and took the ring out of the box before kneeling in front of me. I always thought that I would find this overused way to propose lame and unimaginative, a real cliché, but right now, with my eyes full of tears of happiness, there were no best way to propose. _

"_Rose Hathaway, will you marry me?" He asked with a shaking voice and I could see tears glistering in his eyes too._

"_Yes! Yes! Of course I'll marry you." I said as he slide the ring on my finger. _

At this moment Agate snapped her fingers freezing the scene before us.

"NO!!" I shouted with frustration "Are you really trying to irritate me to death? Because if it's what you are going for it's working just fine!!"

"I showed you already more than I should have. I…You are just so stubborn." She said and I could hear the slight weariness in her voice.

"Talking about stubbornness, since we're talking future and all that…there is no way I'll get Dimitri in the future right?"

"See?" She sighed. "Well, let me show you another version of the future…another happy one at least" she said and snapped her fingers before I even got a chance to ask what did she mean by an 'happy version' of a future.


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N:** Hey guys!!

So here Dimitri's chapter, there will be only one chapter after this one but it will give me the time to start to draft the sequel of my '_Spirit bound' _story.

Don't forget to review and tell me what you think. Just don't forget I didn't have a beta =D.

You guys rock!

Steffy.

**Chapter 7:**

We appeared in a dark room only lit by the street lamps. It was a bedroom, pretty small and bare, but it had a cozy, safe feeling.

There was a double bed in the middle of the room, a dresser and wardrobe and 2 night stands.

"Where are we?" I asked Agate.

"Go and see" she said pointing to the bedroom door.

I nodded walking soundlessly even if I knew it was completely silly since nobody could see or hear me.

I walked down a small corridor and spotted a very small kitchenette on the left. I could hear the TV when I walked in the living, dinning room. It was a tiny room but the furniture were set perfectly to fit the room. The back wall was covered with book shelves filled with books and pictures. I got close and gasped when I saw a wedding picture.

I was wearing a plain white dress with a crown of white flowers. Beside me, in a classic grey suit, was my husband…Dimitri. We were standing in front of the church in Baia.

It was a very simple wedding apparently but I could see blissful joy on both our faces.

I was about to talk to Agate when I heard Dimitri's soft deep voice.

"_Come on Roza, time to go to bed." He said from the long leather sofa. _

I turned around but I couldn't see them. I walked to the side of it and felt my heart tighten in my chest from scene before my eyes.

We probably paid extra for that sofa because it was fitting Dimitri whole frame and my man was 6'7! Dimitri was on the sofa, the legs slightly part, and I was laying on top of him, my cheek on his chest, facing the TV. We had a little blanket on top of us as he was playing idly with my hair.

"_I don't want to." I said snuggling a bit more on his chest. "The movie just finished." _

_Dimitri chuckled wrapping his arms around me. I felt so secured in his arms' like nothing bad could ever happen to me as long as he was here with me. _

"_You've got classes in the morning and you know how cranky you get when you don't have enough sleep." _

"_I know but," I looked up moving slightly to kiss his jaw line. "But you know I'm never cranky when you wake me up with your kisses."_

_He sighed. "And god knows I love to wake you up like that. I wish I could do it everyday for the rest of my life. But tomorrow, I have to be at work at 7.30 so unless you want me to wake you up at 7..."_

"_How come?" I asked moving reluctantly from my favorite place in the world, Dimitri's arms. "I thought the gym didn't open before 9?"_

"_Well the public rooms don't but I have private lessons to give." He said with a smile. _

"_How my sexy personal trainer." I said winking. "As long as you don't fall for your students…We'll be fine." _

_He laughed took my hand and kissed my finger where there was a thin and simple wedding band. No diamond, nothing crazy or expensive but I couldn't care less, my diamond was sat beside me. _

"_Nobody could ever make me fall in love, when I married my everything." He said brushing his lips again mine. _

"_Oh yeah, what did you say 'If we decide to be together, we'll have to do it the right way'." I pointed at the wedding picture resting on the coffee table. "We surely did, but you know what, in the last two years we've been married, I never regretted it, not for one single day." _

"_I'm glad you didn't." He stood up and reached for my hand to help me up but I pulled him to sit back beside me. "But you still have to go to school tomorrow Mrs. Belikova." _

"_Uh huh…" I grinned "you are just very impatient to be able to say that you married a very sexy Sport physiotherapist." _

"_Well I do deserve that because," he winced. "My back still remember you practicing on me during your first year." _

_I laughed. "Come on I was not that bad!" _

"_No of course not…" I gave me a sideway glance, "there were just days I thought I would never walk again." _

_I moved from my spot beside him and slide behind him on the sofa to rub his shoulders. _

"_But I'm a lot better at it now no?" I whispered to his ear._

_He shivered closing his eyes. "You sure are. I love those hands. Oh who am I kidding? I love every part of you." _

"_Well that's good to know since you married me." I said kissing the nape of his neck. _

"I never became a guardian then?" I asked not really sure on how I felt about that. Being a guardian had been my future for so long, I didn't know how to take it.

"Well sometimes you've got tough choices to make in life Rose."

"Yeah I figured that one already" I said sharply." Life taught me that much." I added not able to council the edge of bitterness in my voice.

"I know you do." Said Agate calmly. "It's just that as you can see," she pointed to a playful Dimitri tickling me on the sofa. "Sometimes even the hardest decision you can make is for the best."

"But I'm not in Lissa's life anymore." I said sadly.

"Who said you aren't?" she asked eyeing me curiously.

"Well apparently I chose Dimitri over her and--"

Agate shook her head. "No, see that's where you get it wrong. Choosing a life with Dimitri over being a guardian doesn't mean you're choosing him over her."

I snorted.

"No it's true Rose. Just think about it, when you think about Lissa what does she is for you first? Your charge or your best friend?"

"My best friend!" I said in an heartbeat.

"And what do you think she would say if we asked her the same question? How does she see you first? Guardian or best friend?"

"Best friend" I said warily not really getting it.

"I just wanted you to understand that the hard choices you have to make sometimes are not the end of the world. Christian and Lissa may be separated for now but it's not the end even if they don't get back together. Adrian might be mad at you, but he'll get over it." She rested her hand on my shoulder. "You don't have to try to protect them all the time or feel guilty for things that were WAY beyond your control."

"_Okay, let's go to bed" I said taking Dimitri's hand intertwining our fingers. _

_Dimitri kissing my hand. "Did you book the plane tickets by the way?" _

_I chuckled "oh yeah don't worry! Lissa didn't stop harassing me till I did but I was like how could I forget I'm the maid of honor for god sakes." _

"_She is a worrier" he said laughing. "Remember how she worried about you when we moved to Boston."_

"_Yeah but she knew that as long as I was with you I'll be safe and happy." _

"_I'm doing my best." He said lovingly as I cuddled against him in the bed. _

"_I wouldn't have want it any other way." I said closing my eyes, drifting into sleep while listening to his calm heartbeat. _

"I won't even ask about the reversion because I know you won't tell me but I'm glad I've seen that, I can get my Dimitri back…somehow" I said looking at Agate shadow in the dark room.

"Well you could… It's one of the many possibilities, but even in the happiest future you'll have to make hard choices, you will experience pain, loss and sadness. No life could ever protect you of that, whatever you chose…WHOEVER you chose."

"I…" I started but she shook her head.

"We're almost done Rose. You need to see one more side of things and then…well then you'll have your free will." She said apparently still not convinced on what I would do next.

I wanted to ask her for more time in this future. I wanted to see myself in Dimitri's arms for as long as I could but I didn't even get the chance to open my mouth that I was blinded by the white light yet again.


	11. Chapter 11

**A.N:** Hey guys!!

So here is finally the last chapter of the 'what if' story. My question is would you like me to take the 'meeting' chapter and continue to work on the Stefan story or not??

Well anyways, it took me a bit longer to finish the story BUT I was working actively on my novel so I have an excuse =).

Thanks again for your support. You guys are AWESOME.

Take care.

**_______________**

"Where are we?" I asked looking at the tall stone wall just in front of me.

"Turn around Rose" said Agate somberly.

"A graveyard? That's…nice?" I tried grimacing.

"I showed you many good things, lots of hope but you need to know that every choice you make can have different consequences. Not only your choices have consequances on your life but also the choices of the persons that are in your life."

I took a couple of steps up the path and stopped in front of a grey granite grave that said _Rosemarie Michelle Hathaway 'beloved friend and daughter'_.

"Wow…Dying at 19? That sucks." I said still looking at the dates.

"It does indeed. But you were about to kill yourself on that roof top." Agate shrugged slightly. "I guess 19 is already better than 18 but," her sideway glance led me to think that she didn't believe a word of what she just said.

"I was not about to jump" I said as an attempt to convince us both. I couldn't believe that went that far, I was even ashamed of it. I was a fighter, always have been and I had just been on the verve to give up? That was so not a Rose Hathaway attitude.

Agate just snorted but didn't comment.

"That's not the only dark future" she said snapping her fingers.

I was blinded by the bright white light but this time it didn't dissolve. I kept getting flashes of my friends, and myself mourning over some lossed. I saw about 6 possible versions of my grave each of them with different dates, well I never got older than 27. I also got flashes of my friends' graves too.

However, the last flash was the most terrible I could have ever seen, even making my blood freeze in my veins. Here I was standing, in a beautiful silky red dress, but my skin was so white, my eyes ringed of red it was the Strigoi version of myself and all I could said was that I **_HATED_** it

Before I even got the chance to open my mouth, I was on the roof top again with Agate. It seemed that I had been gone for hours but the sun was on the exact same spot on the sky.

"That was terrible to see." I said as the sight of me as a Strigoi still lingered in my mind.

"I know Rose, it's your worse fear."

"So there is not only hope in my future" I said stupidly.

"There is possibilities, and believe me, it's far more that a lot of people can say. You are still so young, you barely lived. Good or bad, the future is still to be written. And you've got a priceless thing: hope."

"Hope" I repeated numbly. "I guess but now... Now how can I chose a path when I know there is one with Dimitri?"

Agate looked at me sheepishly.

"What?" I asked suspiciously.

"I maybe misled you to some extend."

"Misled me? Misled me how?"

"You won't remember what I showed you."

"What?!" I asked shocked.

"The feelings, the love, hope and safety will linger but not the images. The memories will be erased."

"But…" I frowned. "Why did you refuse to show me more then?"

"Because sometimes memories can come back along with a feeling of _déjà vu, _and a strong sense of _déjà vu, _when you reach a turning point in your life can lead you one way or another."

"But I need to know that things can be alright." I said surprised that my voice almost sounded pleading.

"Oh but you will Rose, all the emotions you felt during our little trip will linger in you. You'll know there is hope and potential in your future, you'll just don't know how you know that."

"What if I make the wrong choices?"

"That's a risk Rose but," She smiled kindly "you have to give yourself some credit. You are far more resourceful than you think."

"Yeah…" I grimaced. "I'm not sure about that."

Agate chuckled. "Let me give you another, how did you call them already_? 'crap Zen lesson'_?"

"Yeah…well one more" I said trying my best not too smile. She was pretty fun for a spiritual guide or whatever, not that I had a lot to compare her to really.

"Well, it's by making mistakes that we learn Rose, and as much as I wish I could guide you, you have something that we consider as being sacred and it's your free will." She winked "However it doesn't stop us from giving an advise every once in a while."

"How---do you do that?"

"You know the little voice inside of you that sometime advise you to take one road instead of another or that little sign that startle you."

"That's you?!" I asked surprised.

"Well not me per say but yes it's 'us'." She said nodding. "I have to go now Rose but I know you'll be alright. Just do what you think it's best. Don't always put the others interest before yours because, believe it or not, it doesn't help you and it doesn't help them either."

"So I've seen."

"Just do your best and listen to the little voice inside of you. It will be alright."

"Thank you...for everything."

"You are very welcome Rose." She rested her hand on my shoulder. "I'm very honored to have been assigned to you. Take care" she said kissing my forehead in a farewell gesture.

I sighed the bottle of vodka still secured in my hand. I looked down again and shook my head. Coming here was a mistake I had opportunities. It was not over, I still had hope.

I smiled to myself.

"Rose please step off the edge" said a begging voice from behind me.

"What?!" I turned around seeing Adrian in his pajamas, hands up in surrender the eyes full of sadness and worry.

"Please Rose, come here, come to me" he said reaching for my hand.

"Uh? Oh!!" I quickly stepped off the edge. "I was not going to--" I sighed who was I kidding? it was _**EXACLTY **_how it looked like. Adrian just didn't know I had changed my mind.

Adrian pulled me into his a bear hug and buried his face in my hair.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again Rose" he said breathless. "I-- You can't die."

"I'm sorry" I said hugging him back with all I had. "You were mad and--"

"Oh Rose…Rose" he said with a sigh. "I can't stay mad at you, never! You'll always have me, whatever you want to do, whatever you chose."

I moved slightly to look at his face. His eyes were full of tears.

"When I saw you on the edge," he closed his eyes. "I thought I was about to die on the spot."

"I didn't mean to scare you" I said sheepishly keeping my hold around his waist.

"OH my Rose" he gave me a sad quivering smile. "That's barely the point." He kept a arm around my waist but brought the other to my face rubbing my cheek bone with his thumb. "I need you alive Rose."

"I won't do that again." I buried my face in his chest again. "But how did you find me?"

"I…I don't know" he said resting his cheek on top of my head. "I woke up sweating and panicking with the crazy thought that you were in danger."

"I'm not anymore, I'll be alright, _**we**_'ll be alright" I said taking his hand intertwining our fingers. "Come on let's go" I squeezed his hand.

He looked deep into my eyes for a minute probably trying to read me and he seemed pleased enough because he brought our intertwined hands to his lips and kissed the back of my hands.

"We'll be alright" he confirmed with a smiled pulling me to the door, back to our lives.

**The end. **


End file.
